Negotiating and Slavery and Surrender

18 01 2014

Question:

“If M/s is a power exchange, an exchange being “the act of giving or taking one thing in return for another” What power did any of the master’s transfer to their slaves?

If the answer is none- then there is no exchange of power.

If there was a transfer of power, a negotiated act, we no longer have m/s we have d/s.”

Answer:

I have been thinking about the above question for a while now.

The Master is giving his power (control, decision making, etc.) to the slave in exchange for her power (control, decision making, etc).

It’s really not complicated.

For me the power is me giving up my power to make certain decisions, do certain acts, and to become a certain way at his directive.

This is in exchange for his power to me of control, live by his rule, and live a certain way under his direction.

Whether there is more or less negotiation in M/s or D/s is up to the individuals or parties involved.  The level of negotiations are irrelevant.

Question:

Is slavery a negotiable act? If yes, how does one negotiate surrender?

Answer:

Since each individual has free will and we are living in a time when real slavery is outlawed and prosecuted in America, the choice we make to be enslaved to someone is therefore something that is negotiated.  How those negotiations look and what is negotiated is between the people or parties involved.

With my choice of being consciously enslaved to Master comes the giving up of further negotiations on how to act, speak, and to accept the choices made by the Master for the slave.  Again this is individualized for each relationship pertaining to what is and is not negotiated.

—————————————

Truthfully this lifestyle we live is all about negotiations and what we choose to live under.  It boggles my mind sometimes why we choose to complicate it with issues of who is more real than the other.  Your kink is not my kink and that is okay and until M/s becomes a legally allowed concept with legislation and everything we need to remember YKINMK and move on.

Definitions: 

ex·change  (ks-chnj)

v. ex·changedex·chang·ingex·chang·es
v.tr.

1. To give in return for something received; trade: exchange dollars for francs; exchanging labor for room and board.
2. To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.
3. To give up for a substitute: exchange a position in the private sector for a post in government.
4. To turn in for replacement: exchange defective merchandise at a store.
v.intr.

1. To give something in return for something received; make an exchange.
2. To be received in exchange: At that time the British pound exchanged for $2.80.


  pow·er  (pour)

n.

1. The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.
2. A specific capacity, faculty, or aptitude. Often used in the plural: her powers of concentration.
3. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might. See Synonyms at strength.
4. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.
5. A person, group, or nation having great influence or control over others: the western powers.
6. The might of a nation, political organization, or similar group.
7. Forcefulness; effectiveness: a novel of unusual power.
8. Chiefly Upper Southern U.S. A large number or amount. See Regional Note at powerful.

 

 Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding, resolve point of difference, or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue, to produce an agreement upon courses of action, to bargain for individual or collective advantage, to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests of two people/parties involved in negotiation process. Negotiation is a process where each party involved in negotiating tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of the process. Negotiation is intended to aim at compromise.

Negotiation occurs in business, non-profit organizations, government branches, legal proceedings, among nations and in personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, and everyday life. The study of the subject is called negotiation theory. Professional negotiators are often specialized, such as union negotiatorsleverage buyout negotiatorspeace negotiatorshostage negotiators, or may work under other titles, such as diplomatslegislators or brokers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negotiation

surrender

[sə rendər]

verb

To surrender is defined as to give up control of something or to give something up to another.

consciously
Variant of conscious

adjective

  1. having a feeling or knowledge (of one’s own sensations, feelings, etc. or of external things); knowing or feeling (that something is or was happening or existing); aware; cognizant
  2. able to feel and think; in the normal waking state
  3. aware of oneself as a thinking being; knowing what one is doing and why
  4. self-conscious
  5. accompanied by an awareness of what one is thinking, feeling, and doing; intentional: conscious humor
  6. known to or felt by oneself: conscious guilt
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To Slaves: Yes you Have a Choice

20 07 2012
A BDSM-style collar that buckles in the back. ...

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Ok. I saw something on FetLife today that really annoyed me. A slave essentially said the following:

It isn’t my choice to do this, my Master made me do this.

Bull-fucking-shit.

Yes slaves, unless you are brain-damaged or brainwashed, it is your choice. It may not be your preference but you choose every day to obey and honor your Master. Do not demean that choice by saying that it isn’t yours to make. Own it. Be proud of it.

Now, if you are a slave who is beaten and kept chained naked in an unheated damp basement, then I am wrong in your case. You don’t have a choice. Everyone else, watch your language.

(And if your that chained/caged/beaten slaves master, message me about how the fuck you got away with it.

MV





Trusting Again

30 04 2012

To me trust is like seeing a flower bloom.  Little by little the flower blooms.  The tight flower releases becoming softer and softer.  You open yourself up and let down your guard.  No protective coverings, soft and yielding.

pink roses Royalty Free Stock Photo

In some ways you connect and intertwine yourself with someone else.    It is not something that most people give lightly.  Deep trust in M/s relationships is a must.  Both parties have to be willing to let go and bloom.

Trust is not lost all at once it happens in stages, it is like a death.

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

“If we fall, we don’t need self-recrimination or blame or anger – we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again.”

~Sharon SalzbergO Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004

Once the decision is made to rebuild trust in someone, the decision must also made to be open again.  It is not an easy thing, basically you are starting over again with different information and reversing the stages of grief.

This is a hard thing and everyone needs to really access themselves to see if it can be done.  Sometimes holding onto  the hurt of putting themselves out there again makes people want to not bloom with that person anymore.

Blooming rose Royalty Free Stock Photo

If you do decide to stay beating yourself up and bringing up the past will not move you forward and will not help the relationship grow or change.  Time must be given to heal but healing must be done.  Self healing, relationship healing, regaining trust.





Power Exchange

12 03 2012

I have heard many times that slaves get their pleasure out of serving their Master.  They want nothing for themselves except to serve their Masters.   LOL

Okay maybe I shouldn’t laugh but I find that funny sometimes.  When taken out of context this seems like the slave is the Madonna in the relationship.  She is such a self sacrificing person.  Always thinking of others.  Such a saint.

Okay enough sarcasm.

I am of the mind that slaves do get something out of being in a Power Exchange relationship.  (My opinion is solely from the standpoint of a slave being in a relationship where she is collared by a Master).

I believe the slave gets satisfaction from more than serving the Master.  I believe the slaves true pleasure and satisfaction comes from the Power exchange in the relationship.  In particular the Master’s control.

Serving, obeying, etc. is a by product of this relationship.

What do you think?





Intimacy

30 01 2012

Lying together our  bodies are pressed together.

We meld…two become one after a long day of separation.

The time apart only enhances these times together

Our bodies fit together without any awkwardness

In and out, In and out

One breath, one heartbeat





A Few Thoughts

2 11 2011

It has been an interesting couple of months. My slave moved in, I’ve been sick. My current job was ending. Time passed.

I got better. More or less. At least as healthy as I was before.

My slave is here. There are adjustments I have had to make. Adjustments she has had to make. There are others we have to keep in mind (her kids). I think the hardest part is that we were used to being on our own.

But, we are making it. One day at a time.

It is a journey. My hand in hers. A process.

One that has to succeed.





Marriage and M/s – After the marriage

28 02 2011

I figured it was time for me to update my thoughts on marriage and slavery now that I am married to my Master.   This has been another learning moment for me and I am greatful for Master being my Master and not acquiescing and being my husband.

My Master and I got married in November of 2010. This is my joy and my dilemma.

Since we have been married I have found that this has been causing major issues for me. It seems that my mindset went to wife. I saw my marriage to Master as being married to my husband. Which put me on equal footing. I started dropping my protocols in terms of speaking and behavior, making decisions on which rules I would follow and really not being my Master’s slave.

The thing that bought it in to focus for me was when I told my Master that I decided that I didn’t need to meditate anymore as I saw no more need for it. I told him in such a way that it should no big deal and that he should be perfectly okay with this. Even though this has been his rule for me since we met. This is not about me meditating or my seeing the need to meditate this is about following my Master’s rule.

That was a severe heart wrenching ouchy moment for me. Things are getting better, slowly and more mindful and i have not doubt we will be stronger for it

Anyone else have issues with being married and being a slave?

MV’s esclave








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