Negotiating and Slavery and Surrender

18 01 2014


“If M/s is a power exchange, an exchange being “the act of giving or taking one thing in return for another” What power did any of the master’s transfer to their slaves?

If the answer is none- then there is no exchange of power.

If there was a transfer of power, a negotiated act, we no longer have m/s we have d/s.”


I have been thinking about the above question for a while now.

The Master is giving his power (control, decision making, etc.) to the slave in exchange for her power (control, decision making, etc).

It’s really not complicated.

For me the power is me giving up my power to make certain decisions, do certain acts, and to become a certain way at his directive.

This is in exchange for his power to me of control, live by his rule, and live a certain way under his direction.

Whether there is more or less negotiation in M/s or D/s is up to the individuals or parties involved.  The level of negotiations are irrelevant.


Is slavery a negotiable act? If yes, how does one negotiate surrender?


Since each individual has free will and we are living in a time when real slavery is outlawed and prosecuted in America, the choice we make to be enslaved to someone is therefore something that is negotiated.  How those negotiations look and what is negotiated is between the people or parties involved.

With my choice of being consciously enslaved to Master comes the giving up of further negotiations on how to act, speak, and to accept the choices made by the Master for the slave.  Again this is individualized for each relationship pertaining to what is and is not negotiated.


Truthfully this lifestyle we live is all about negotiations and what we choose to live under.  It boggles my mind sometimes why we choose to complicate it with issues of who is more real than the other.  Your kink is not my kink and that is okay and until M/s becomes a legally allowed concept with legislation and everything we need to remember YKINMK and move on.


ex·change  (ks-chnj)

v. ex·changedex·chang·ingex·chang·es

1. To give in return for something received; trade: exchange dollars for francs; exchanging labor for room and board.
2. To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.
3. To give up for a substitute: exchange a position in the private sector for a post in government.
4. To turn in for replacement: exchange defective merchandise at a store.

1. To give something in return for something received; make an exchange.
2. To be received in exchange: At that time the British pound exchanged for $2.80.

  pow·er  (pour)


1. The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.
2. A specific capacity, faculty, or aptitude. Often used in the plural: her powers of concentration.
3. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might. See Synonyms at strength.
4. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.
5. A person, group, or nation having great influence or control over others: the western powers.
6. The might of a nation, political organization, or similar group.
7. Forcefulness; effectiveness: a novel of unusual power.
8. Chiefly Upper Southern U.S. A large number or amount. See Regional Note at powerful.


 Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding, resolve point of difference, or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue, to produce an agreement upon courses of action, to bargain for individual or collective advantage, to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests of two people/parties involved in negotiation process. Negotiation is a process where each party involved in negotiating tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of the process. Negotiation is intended to aim at compromise.

Negotiation occurs in business, non-profit organizations, government branches, legal proceedings, among nations and in personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, and everyday life. The study of the subject is called negotiation theory. Professional negotiators are often specialized, such as union negotiatorsleverage buyout negotiatorspeace negotiatorshostage negotiators, or may work under other titles, such as diplomatslegislators or brokers.


[sə rendər]


To surrender is defined as to give up control of something or to give something up to another.

Variant of conscious


  1. having a feeling or knowledge (of one’s own sensations, feelings, etc. or of external things); knowing or feeling (that something is or was happening or existing); aware; cognizant
  2. able to feel and think; in the normal waking state
  3. aware of oneself as a thinking being; knowing what one is doing and why
  4. self-conscious
  5. accompanied by an awareness of what one is thinking, feeling, and doing; intentional: conscious humor
  6. known to or felt by oneself: conscious guilt

Surrender Level 46, Number 56, Section k

18 04 2011

“It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one’s thoughts…”  Isabel Colegate


transitive verb
a : to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand <surrendered the fort>

I am pretty sure that I have written about this topic many times before but this for me is not just a one time thing it is constant and conscious.  I envision my being a slave to Master like  a crystal.  I am being molded into a shape that is pleasing to him but I still contain all the different aspects of me.  This is how I think of my surrender to Master.


This colorless synthetic diamond from Apollo Diamond may pose a bit of a challenge to the African warlords and the De Beers cartel. This diamond has the same atomic structure as a...I am just not sure how to start this.  So I am just going to start typing and hopefully this will be clear and in some kind of order.

This past March I went down to visit my Master.  The minute I got there he grabbed my tits in that excruciating way that he does.  Sort of like a squeeze and twist sort of technique and my piercings add something extra special.  Trust me…hurts like heck.  Totally puts me in a different head space.  Afterwards he bought out the dreaded stun gun…i HATE that thing.  He hit me with it twice.  As I am sitting there with him on the floor he gets some rope, dumps it on me and ties me up…nice 🙂  He then puts clips on my breasts and then directly on my nipples.  Did I mention that my nipples are pierced and that having clips on them hurts really, really bad…lol   He puts them directly on my nipples and then pulls them off.  This was done several times to the point where my nipple started to bleed.

Usually after intense play, I just need a blanket and a quiet place by myself.  I don’t usually like it when people touch me or even speak to me after intense play as I need to “collect” myself.  I feel that touching me and caring for me after you have hurt me is too vulnerable a place for me.  So I don’t do it.  Not with anyone.  To appear weak and vulnerable is not something that I can do easily.  There has been no place in my life for this.

This last time with Master however, I wanted after care.  As I was sitting in my corner, I kept asking myself why am I deliberately being alone.  I wanted him to hold me and let me cry in his arms.  I wanted him to smooth my face and reassure me that he loves me and will always be there. I just could not bring myself to ask him even though I wanted to beg him to just sit near me.  That was a wow moment for me.

I didn’t realize that this was another wall I had built up to protect myself.    Emotional pain is worse than physical pain.  I have had a lot of emotional pain.   I can endure physical pain, scars heal, endorphins kick in, life is good.  But residual emotional pain affects many parts of me.  I realize it now.

So here is me shedding light on this part of me and surrendering further to my Master.

Service Book of Days 10/12/09

12 10 2009

Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) is cold but the weather is nice. It feels sort of like a spring type cold and not yet a winter type cold…lol

my thoughts…are about trying to regain my equilibrium in regards to my slavery.

Today’s Quote“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” Emil Ludwig quotes (German Biographer and Writer who is internationally known for his many popular biographies, 1881-1948)

i am thankful for…always my family, all my moments – good and bad. I know I keep saying this but these are the things that I am most thankful for…everything else is just gravy, as the saying goes.

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) I am learning another aspect of surrender. That Master’s rules don’t change no matter what I may think. These are his rules and my role is to accept, internalize, surrender to them. Actually the slave surrendering is the only way I can see for our relationship. Not surrendering to Master’s rules means that I am saving some part of my independence to use at a later time.

From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) I am cooking breakfast every morning for the kids.

i am wearing…Master’s shirt. Even though his smell has long since departed from this shirt, just putting it on makes me feel all warm and cozy.

i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) nothing new at the moment

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) No adventures this weekend. I am going to continue to do stuff around my house. Still trying to prepare my house for selling.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?)…Nothing this week. I am going to search for another good book on surrendering and slavery.

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children. I pray for the people around us to not take their life for granted.

Todays Melody..(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)  No melodies today…just quiet.

One of my favorite things…I am relearning my love for cooking.  For creating my own meals.

further plans for this week…housecleaning/clearing. Continuing my workout plan. Fixing up my house.

Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)

the beginningI chose this photo as for me I need to remember where my place is and that no matter where I am or what space I am in  (with him or away from him) this is the beginning, middle, and end for me.   His slave.  It is when I lose sight of this that my space gets to be an unhappy place.  My constant choice is to be His slave.

Here are the directions for this post if you are interested in starting your own:
Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention my blog and offer a link back to the main page of my blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!

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