Negotiating and Slavery and Surrender

18 01 2014

Question:

“If M/s is a power exchange, an exchange being “the act of giving or taking one thing in return for another” What power did any of the master’s transfer to their slaves?

If the answer is none- then there is no exchange of power.

If there was a transfer of power, a negotiated act, we no longer have m/s we have d/s.”

Answer:

I have been thinking about the above question for a while now.

The Master is giving his power (control, decision making, etc.) to the slave in exchange for her power (control, decision making, etc).

It’s really not complicated.

For me the power is me giving up my power to make certain decisions, do certain acts, and to become a certain way at his directive.

This is in exchange for his power to me of control, live by his rule, and live a certain way under his direction.

Whether there is more or less negotiation in M/s or D/s is up to the individuals or parties involved.  The level of negotiations are irrelevant.

Question:

Is slavery a negotiable act? If yes, how does one negotiate surrender?

Answer:

Since each individual has free will and we are living in a time when real slavery is outlawed and prosecuted in America, the choice we make to be enslaved to someone is therefore something that is negotiated.  How those negotiations look and what is negotiated is between the people or parties involved.

With my choice of being consciously enslaved to Master comes the giving up of further negotiations on how to act, speak, and to accept the choices made by the Master for the slave.  Again this is individualized for each relationship pertaining to what is and is not negotiated.

—————————————

Truthfully this lifestyle we live is all about negotiations and what we choose to live under.  It boggles my mind sometimes why we choose to complicate it with issues of who is more real than the other.  Your kink is not my kink and that is okay and until M/s becomes a legally allowed concept with legislation and everything we need to remember YKINMK and move on.

Definitions: 

ex·change  (ks-chnj)

v. ex·changedex·chang·ingex·chang·es
v.tr.

1. To give in return for something received; trade: exchange dollars for francs; exchanging labor for room and board.
2. To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.
3. To give up for a substitute: exchange a position in the private sector for a post in government.
4. To turn in for replacement: exchange defective merchandise at a store.
v.intr.

1. To give something in return for something received; make an exchange.
2. To be received in exchange: At that time the British pound exchanged for $2.80.


  pow·er  (pour)

n.

1. The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.
2. A specific capacity, faculty, or aptitude. Often used in the plural: her powers of concentration.
3. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might. See Synonyms at strength.
4. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.
5. A person, group, or nation having great influence or control over others: the western powers.
6. The might of a nation, political organization, or similar group.
7. Forcefulness; effectiveness: a novel of unusual power.
8. Chiefly Upper Southern U.S. A large number or amount. See Regional Note at powerful.

 

 Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding, resolve point of difference, or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue, to produce an agreement upon courses of action, to bargain for individual or collective advantage, to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests of two people/parties involved in negotiation process. Negotiation is a process where each party involved in negotiating tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of the process. Negotiation is intended to aim at compromise.

Negotiation occurs in business, non-profit organizations, government branches, legal proceedings, among nations and in personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, and everyday life. The study of the subject is called negotiation theory. Professional negotiators are often specialized, such as union negotiatorsleverage buyout negotiatorspeace negotiatorshostage negotiators, or may work under other titles, such as diplomatslegislators or brokers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negotiation

surrender

[sə rendər]

verb

To surrender is defined as to give up control of something or to give something up to another.

consciously
Variant of conscious

adjective

  1. having a feeling or knowledge (of one’s own sensations, feelings, etc. or of external things); knowing or feeling (that something is or was happening or existing); aware; cognizant
  2. able to feel and think; in the normal waking state
  3. aware of oneself as a thinking being; knowing what one is doing and why
  4. self-conscious
  5. accompanied by an awareness of what one is thinking, feeling, and doing; intentional: conscious humor
  6. known to or felt by oneself: conscious guilt
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Trusting Again

30 04 2012

To me trust is like seeing a flower bloom.  Little by little the flower blooms.  The tight flower releases becoming softer and softer.  You open yourself up and let down your guard.  No protective coverings, soft and yielding.

pink roses Royalty Free Stock Photo

In some ways you connect and intertwine yourself with someone else.    It is not something that most people give lightly.  Deep trust in M/s relationships is a must.  Both parties have to be willing to let go and bloom.

Trust is not lost all at once it happens in stages, it is like a death.

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

“If we fall, we don’t need self-recrimination or blame or anger – we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again.”

~Sharon SalzbergO Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004

Once the decision is made to rebuild trust in someone, the decision must also made to be open again.  It is not an easy thing, basically you are starting over again with different information and reversing the stages of grief.

This is a hard thing and everyone needs to really access themselves to see if it can be done.  Sometimes holding onto  the hurt of putting themselves out there again makes people want to not bloom with that person anymore.

Blooming rose Royalty Free Stock Photo

If you do decide to stay beating yourself up and bringing up the past will not move you forward and will not help the relationship grow or change.  Time must be given to heal but healing must be done.  Self healing, relationship healing, regaining trust.





Trust

23 04 2012

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.” ~Frank Crane

Giving someone your trust as the quote says is not a black and white kinda of thing. The popular thought is being able to trust someone who is completely honest all the time. Those lies you tell a friend who is feeling a bit body conscious is not being honest all the time. Then the differences are made between big lies and little lies.

For me I don’t require truth in everything. Trust is not built on just one thing for me it is built on many things. To trust I require, honesty concerning the things that have been determined crucial (faithfulness, consistency, respect, being there for me, having a shoulder to cry on, someone who means what they say, etc.) I think you get the picture.

When trust is lost in a relationship it is not just that one thing that is lost it is all those things that go with trusting someone that is lost. Once lost it can be gotten back but it takes time. Although it is never the same as before. There’s that voice in the back of your brain or that piece in your heart that is kept separate and closed against full trust though. It’s like breaking the handle off of your favorite mug. You never really find all the pieces to glue it perfectly together again.

Some relationships can be better than it was before as it helps remove the newness rapper and expose the realness of the relationship. It is in the realness of a relationship that the relationship can strengthen if the relationship is still wanted by two people.

Some relationships end. Which is sometimes the best way to survive. I think sometimes people hold on too long to something that was not meant to be forever. There is freedom in giving yourself permission with being okay with leaving. As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one then you know what to do.

Neither is right as the decision is determined by the participants. I prefer to stay. Work it out if it can be and build a better, different relationship.





Power Exchange

12 03 2012

I have heard many times that slaves get their pleasure out of serving their Master.  They want nothing for themselves except to serve their Masters.   LOL

Okay maybe I shouldn’t laugh but I find that funny sometimes.  When taken out of context this seems like the slave is the Madonna in the relationship.  She is such a self sacrificing person.  Always thinking of others.  Such a saint.

Okay enough sarcasm.

I am of the mind that slaves do get something out of being in a Power Exchange relationship.  (My opinion is solely from the standpoint of a slave being in a relationship where she is collared by a Master).

I believe the slave gets satisfaction from more than serving the Master.  I believe the slaves true pleasure and satisfaction comes from the Power exchange in the relationship.  In particular the Master’s control.

Serving, obeying, etc. is a by product of this relationship.

What do you think?








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