Being a Real Master Is Hard Work

11 07 2012

I knew this when I started. Being a good master is hard. Really hard.  It requires constant attention to your behavior. Requires consistency in your actions. That doesn’t mean you can’t grow. You can change. But you need to allow your slave to adjust.

Watch out for love. It will sap your will. It will make you less consistent. I was aware of this possibility, it still happened.

And, when you figure it out, it is a long slow recovery. Only you can fix the shit you created.

Remember though, that it can be fixed. and you have to fix it.



Reflections on what home feels like

19 06 2012

I was recently interviewed for an article concerning the first conference I have ever went to…BlackBEAT.

I read the article and wasn’t really feeling the slant the article took and it didn’t actually vibe with me.  For some reason I kept wishing that the article was focussed more on expanding the classes, having more extras…fun, fun, fun.

Then I thought about it more.  This article was actually spot on.  There was so much truth in this article….simple truth that makes BlackBEAT more than just another conference in a long line of conferences.  There is just something about hugs at BlackBEAT.

When I made the decision to attend BlackBEAT alone I worried that I would get lost in the mix of people that would attend.  One of the things I did was sign up to volunteer so that I could be seen and get to know others who came.  I am normally a quiet person in crowds and not very welcoming to others so this was my way of getting out of my head.   I had no need to worry.  The first person I met when I entered the hotel was Cyberdiva.  She might not realize this or even remember it but that hug and welcome she gave me meant the world to me.  I felt accepted and welcomed.

It touched something in me and  no matter what the rest of the conference held that hug opened me up to be receptive to other hugs and other meetings and other experiences outside of what I usually allowed in my personal space.  When Master and I were leaving the O’Kink Family Reunion, Mistress Max hugged me to say goodbye and I just broke down and cried.  There is just something about hugs given and received at BlackBEAT.

I have to say with each BlackBEAT I have attended it is the same feeling…even at the scaled down day of Survivor Saturday.  Seeing everyone, coming home, being around family…those are the things that make BlackBEAT for me.  The classes, the knowledge shared, the lessons taught and learned are icing on a delicious red velvet cake.

Think I am the only way who feels this way…Nopecheck it outthere are others.

If you feel like stepping out and attending a conference this should be your first step…BlackBEAT 2012.  Go with open arms as hugs will be given freely.

Power Exchange

12 03 2012

I have heard many times that slaves get their pleasure out of serving their Master.  They want nothing for themselves except to serve their Masters.   LOL

Okay maybe I shouldn’t laugh but I find that funny sometimes.  When taken out of context this seems like the slave is the Madonna in the relationship.  She is such a self sacrificing person.  Always thinking of others.  Such a saint.

Okay enough sarcasm.

I am of the mind that slaves do get something out of being in a Power Exchange relationship.  (My opinion is solely from the standpoint of a slave being in a relationship where she is collared by a Master).

I believe the slave gets satisfaction from more than serving the Master.  I believe the slaves true pleasure and satisfaction comes from the Power exchange in the relationship.  In particular the Master’s control.

Serving, obeying, etc. is a by product of this relationship.

What do you think?


30 01 2012

Lying together our  bodies are pressed together.

We meld…two become one after a long day of separation.

The time apart only enhances these times together

Our bodies fit together without any awkwardness

In and out, In and out

One breath, one heartbeat

Masters: Study Slavery

7 10 2010

OK, this is going to be a short post. I wanted to talk about something for the Masters today.  We have to know a lot of stuff to be good at what we do. But I think that one of the things that is often ignored is the importance of a Master of knowing what is good service.

I would implore you to read all that you can about the subject. Become an expert on what it takes to serve. Know the mind set. Frankly, the mindset is alien to me, but I have learned over the years to appreciate it and to know what it takes to be a good one.

Remember to buy the slave book and read them first, before you hand them to your slave. It is just as important to know these things first as it is to know the other more Masterly topics.

Anyway,  that is my thought for today.


Mastering Mastery

28 10 2009

I ran across this video by Merlin Mann, and I thought it is an example about how to become a better person in the lifestyle. Now, watching this video may take a bit of patience and it doesn’t directly relate to our Lifestyle.  But it focuses on being the best.  Mastering a task.  Watch this video. Reflect upon its deeper meaning. I found it quite informative.


Read the rest of this entry »

Service Savoire Faire 9/28/9

28 09 2009
  • Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) it is a nice day out rainy but the breeze blowing felt really good…sort of warm. I love it. Sort of wish I was naked in a field letting the rain and win caress my body…sighs.   


  • my thoughts…are on setting my life in order. Organizing things so that the kids and I can move our life closer to Master.  


  • Today’s Quote…”As I drifted away I could only bask in the good feelings being with a man I loved one whose life had become inextricably woven into mine. Whatever else mastery and slavery has held for us, it has meant contentment.”  The Compleat Slave, Jack Rinella 


  • I remember saying to Master when we first got together that the one thing I did not want was for us to to get use to each other. To me that meant we would fall into a rut of taking each other for granted and not appreciating each other. Sort of losing sight of how special we are to each other.   


  • I have changed my view on that. When I am in Master’s space, my very soul just breathes a sigh of relief and contentment. I am soulfully happy to be in his space and I love it.  


  • i am thankful for…always my family, all my moments – good and bad  


  • From my service training… (any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) I am learning to focus on my space through meditation.  


  • From the kitchen… (menu for the week, what are you cooking?) So I made my butternut squash soup and homemade biscuits for dinner this weekend. It was a hit and miss. The soup was a bit thicker than I expected because I think I over beat it since I made it with cream. My youngest daughter made the homemade biscuits and we had a lot of fun cooking and sharing with each other. My youngest son Jacob was not too enthused on the soup. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and the thought of having soup as a main meal was not good for him. He said that he never heard of someone having soup for an entrée that people only order it as an appetizer. LOL So the next meal I cook will have to be something with substance. He ended up eating a frozen pizza. Also, as something I thought would be interesting I served the soup in wine glasses which two of my children liked but again my finicky eater Jacob did not like it.  

    This cooking thing is turning out to be a fun adventure not just for me but for the kids as well. 

  • i am wearing…my skin…lol relaxing in the freedom to be free. 


  • i am creating… (crafts, sewing etc;) nothing new at the moment 


  • my adventures this week… (where are you going this week?) No adventures this weekend. I am going to continue to do stuff around my house. 


  • Becoming well read… (What are you reading this week?) Listening to the Four Agreements and thinking about getting the new Oprah selection called Say You’re One of Them by Uwem Akpan. I read the few pages posted on her site and was instantly grabbed by the visuals created. 


  • i manifest and co-create… (what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children. I pray for the people around us to not take their life for granted. 


  • Todays Melody… (what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) So I was on the train coming home and I was tired and totally impatient for the doors to open at my stop. I heard one of best sounds ever….a baby laughing. I love that sound. Babies laugh with such abandon and joy. Perked me right up. 


  • One of my favorite things…is to daydream. Yeah I admit I like to take moments and let my mind wander to wherever it wants to go. I dream and day dream in bright vibrant colors. 


  • further plans for this week…housecleaning/clearing. Continuing my workout plan. Fixing up my house further. 


  • Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)




Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.
Mention my blog and offer a link back to the main page of my blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!

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