Reflections on what home feels like

19 06 2012

I was recently interviewed for an article concerning the first conference I have ever went to…BlackBEAT.

I read the article and wasn’t really feeling the slant the article took and it didn’t actually vibe with me.  For some reason I kept wishing that the article was focussed more on expanding the classes, having more extras…fun, fun, fun.

Then I thought about it more.  This article was actually spot on.  There was so much truth in this article….simple truth that makes BlackBEAT more than just another conference in a long line of conferences.  There is just something about hugs at BlackBEAT.

When I made the decision to attend BlackBEAT alone I worried that I would get lost in the mix of people that would attend.  One of the things I did was sign up to volunteer so that I could be seen and get to know others who came.  I am normally a quiet person in crowds and not very welcoming to others so this was my way of getting out of my head.   I had no need to worry.  The first person I met when I entered the hotel was Cyberdiva.  She might not realize this or even remember it but that hug and welcome she gave me meant the world to me.  I felt accepted and welcomed.

It touched something in me and  no matter what the rest of the conference held that hug opened me up to be receptive to other hugs and other meetings and other experiences outside of what I usually allowed in my personal space.  When Master and I were leaving the O’Kink Family Reunion, Mistress Max hugged me to say goodbye and I just broke down and cried.  There is just something about hugs given and received at BlackBEAT.

I have to say with each BlackBEAT I have attended it is the same feeling…even at the scaled down day of Survivor Saturday.  Seeing everyone, coming home, being around family…those are the things that make BlackBEAT for me.  The classes, the knowledge shared, the lessons taught and learned are icing on a delicious red velvet cake.

Think I am the only way who feels this way…Nopecheck it outthere are others.

If you feel like stepping out and attending a conference this should be your first step…BlackBEAT 2012.  Go with open arms as hugs will be given freely.

Master Void Interviews namaste

21 10 2009

And I bet you are asking yourself, who is namaste?  Well for one namaste is the slave who mentored my little esclave. But I will let her introduce herself.

slave – namaste has counseled women and taught about embracing submission for over 15 years. She brings this knowledge into her relationship serving as Master Obsidians’ 24/7 TPE slave as well as to counseling and aiding in the development of other slaves in the lifestyle. Her writings on surrender and absolute slavery have been featured on web sites and in books. She is Founder and co-moderator of various lifestyle groups, including one geared specifically for slaves in TPE relationships. She is into Domestic Service, Protocols, Spirituality and The Art of Surrender.

Obsidian and her make a wonderful pair, and have served as an influence for both myself and my slave.  I wanted to interview both of them, and namaste had her interview ready first.

Read the rest of this entry »

Another Interview: Kink Writer Anneke Jacob

7 10 2009

A couple of weeks ago, Anneke Jacob approached me and asked if I would be interested in “any interest in the book that won the National Leather Association novel award, or in its author, or both?” I jumped at the chance. I had just listened to her on an episode of Greydancer’s Ropecast. It was a good listen, and I was to learn something else as I did my research for the interview.

Anneke Jacob is the first ever winner of the National Leather Association: International Pauline Reage Novel Award in 2008. It looks like a good read, here is an excerpt:

Even when he’d said he wasn’t coming I kept listening for his truck. As the neighbourhood was well studded with massive four-by-fours, I spent far too much time looking out the window, disappointed, as some muscly black macho symbol growled by with its empty truck bed. Hoping instead to see well-used burnt sienna beneath my window, brown in shadow but glowing like sunset when it caught the light. The truck was old but cared for, the finish softened and smoothed like a well-used pair of jeans. It got so whenever I saw that colour out on the street, my heart lifted like a balloon.

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Service Book of Days 9/17/09

17 09 2009
  • Outside the window of the train…it is still dark outside as I have been going into to work a bit early to make up some time.  I’m always amazed at the amount of people who are out of the house and moving and 5am.
  • my thoughts…are clear, peaceful and energetic…lol  I have a lot of stuff to do and a lot of energy to do it with.  This amazes me because I feel like for the past year of so my energy level has been non existent, my head has been cloudy and stuff has been happening around me.  Like I have been operating singular focussed.  Now I feel like I can actually participate fully in life.
  • Today’s Quote… Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly. Epictetus   From the Merriam Webster online dictions:  adorn implies an enhancing by something beautiful in itself.  

    I love this quote.   I love things that are simple yet effective.  I find I complicate things way more than necessary anyway.  I know I am Master’s slave and I adorn myself with His mastery, with His love,  with submission to my Master, grace, honesty, commitment, and willingness to be His fully.

  • i am thankful for…the small things in life and the clarity to see how important they are.
  • From my service training…I am sinking fully into my space with Master and learning how more and more my submission to him changes my entire life.  The skills I learn in speaking, cooking, presenting myself, accountability,  and relating to him transfer to every part of my life in dealing with kids, family, co-workers.  Feels really good to “live life wide awake”.
  • From the kitchen… tonight I would like to try something different to cook so I will be searching for a quick but delicious recipe to fix for the kiddies
  • i am wearing…black pants, black boots, black shirt with a white shrug
  • i am creating…order and clarity.  I am looking to find a cleansing ritual for my house.  I think I will stop by the local shop that sells stones and such to see if they can help me find something
  • my adventures this week… starting back to the gym…today…Thursday
  • Becoming well read…A dragonfly in Amber…The Compleat Slave by Jack Rinella…listening slowly to the Four Agreements (again)
  • Today’s Melody… And I gave my Love to you…by Sonja Marie  (Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack)  I wasn’t to enthused about the movie but I love, love the soundtrack.
  • One of my favorite things…is to decompress with my kids after their day at school.  Just chatting about stuff that happened to them that day and hanging.
  • Still….life… mmmmmmm ice


 Photo used per Creative Commons.

 Master Void’s esclave

Interested in knowing where the idea for my weekly post came from…click this link.  You will also find some great ideas on service even if you are without someone to serve.

Service Book of Days – 8/31/09

31 08 2009

You know at one time I got tired of doing these posts every week as I found myself just making up stuff to put in it.  I think I missed the purpose of them.  The purpose is to not make me feel burdened but for me to take a moment and remember my life day by day and not just “go through” this life unaware.  At least that’s what sunk in for me as I posting this week’s post.

Outside my window…it was a bright day a little on the chilly side.

· my thoughts… are living honestly and open

· Today’s Quote…  People often say that beauty if in the eye of the beholder and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder.  This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look including inside ourselves…Salma Hayek

· i am thankful for… the many opportunities i have for growth

· From my service training… to be honest with myself.  this means being honest in looking at and working through all of the messy emotions and messy emotions are not easy for me.  i might try and fool myself into glossing over and only looking as far as the surface but to be honest to myself and to Master requires that I do more than just the minimum.

· From the kitchen… curry rice, mixed vegetables and baked chicken.

· i am wearing… a turquoise sundress

· i am creating… nothing…i am letting my Father’s universe guide me

· my adventures this week… school shopping and getting the kids ready for the rigors of highschool and middle school

· Becoming well read… A dragonfly in Amber…listening slowly to the Four Agreements (again)

· Today’s Melody… “And I gave my Love to you”…Sonja Marie…From the Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack

· One of my favorite things… Laughing out loud…I mean really loud…makes the body feel good.

· Further plans for this week… school shopping and preparing the kids for school.  I have one senior, one middle schooler (7th grade) and one 10th grader.

· Still….life… simple obedience.


Master Void’s slave

Interested in knowing where the quote and the idea for my weekly post came from.  Click this link.  You will also find some great ideas on service even if you are without someone to serve.

Photo used per Creative Commons.

5 Questions with NCMaster

17 07 2009

NCMaster is a good friend of mine, and a local leather leader who has received some small renown.  So it was natural that I would ask to interview him.  Hope you like it.

5 Questions

1) Who is NCMaster?

NCMaster is a Leather Lifestyle Dominant that has been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. I have been married to My wife/slave for about 6 years now. We are very active in the local and regional Leather Community. I have served on the Board of Directors for Capex for 3 terms. My slave and I have hosted a D/s Relationship SIG in our home for the last 4 1/2 years. We have an extended Leather Family that has become very close and we spend a lot of time with our family.

2) How did you get into the Scene/Lifestyle?

Like many, I can remember having kinky thoughts and ideas even as a child. During My first marriage which was vanilla, I tried to involve my wife in some of the things I wanted to do, but it just wasn’t going to happen. After the divorce, I began to explore and discovered that other people shared My interests. This was before the Internet and I didn’t realize that there were groups that were into these things. Soon I discovered the Leather community and found a home. I began learning as much as I could from both dominants and submissives, experimenting with everything I learned.

3) What is our claim to fame in the scene? i.e What are you know for?

I think I am known as a community leader and a knowledgeable Elder. I have done presentations on many aspects of the lifestyle across the southeast for local, regional and national organizations.

4) What should the next Generation know?

The next generation should become knowledgeable in the traditions of our heritage and the sacrifices of those that lead the way. The next generation should also learn of the respect and dedication for the Leather Lifestyle that defines us. The next generation should also learn to be adventurous and pave their own path in some ways. Take the lessons from the past and define them in new ways.

5) What is important?

Personal Integrity. Loyalty. Honor, and self Respect.


Book of Days – 7/6/09

6 07 2009

A few posts back I wrote about a new blog spot called Service Savoire Faire started by a friend.  One of the blogs was about a book of days.  This is a way to remember the “now” moments of life and is something that is done every Monday or more if you like.  Today is my first Monday, feel free to join in with me.  Master has so graciously shown me how to create my own blog spot so I think I will post my other days there but start my week off here.

Read the following prompts:

  • Outside my windowit’s green trees and lush grass.  The sky is a baby blue with white clouds.  Peace and beauty
  • my thoughts…are introspective.  Releasing and trying to relax into the uncontrollable moments of life
  • Today’s Quote…taken from the daily mantra…I wanted a perfect ending.  Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.  Delicious ambiguity. (Gilda Radner)
  • i am thankful for…this moment, my family, my Master, being able to feel hurt and happiness
  • From my service training… decorating with a limited budget.  Master passed along this link that talked about creating roman shades from regular blinds
  • From the kitchen… hmmm guess I should plan something
  • i am wearing…royal blue silk blouse, baby blue pants, natural hair twists, my silver collar, and silver earrings
  • i am creating… nothing at the moment
  • my adventures this week… no adventures planned for this week.
  • Becoming well read…  Listening to an audio book on the Four Agreements and contemplating getting a book called Waiting for Autumn by Scott Blum
  • i manifest and co-create… speak good and positive thoughts into existence.  I pray for peace and acceptance and clarity.
  • Todays Melody Listening to the soundtrack from “Waiting to Exhale”  It is fabulous…although I think the movie could have been better but love the premise.
  • One of my favorite things is to listen to music and sing
  • further plans for this week…pay bills, go shopping for the clothes for the kids, pray
  • Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Freedom


MV’s esclave

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