A Death in the Family

18 08 2010

Used under a creative common licence. Click on pic for details.

I was going to make a lite humorous post today, relating to some steampunk sex toys. That isn’t to be. Instead, I want to tell you about a friend of mine. Darque DeSade.

Darque was a photographer and artist living in New York. We met through our times at BlackBEAT. He was a character. I could always count on him to bring a smile to my face. As the years went, I would see him at events in DC, and even on occasion in NYC.

When my girl and I were getting together, I expressed an interest in his work, she bought me one of his prints. It is hanging today in my home, above the mantel in my bed room.  One of the few pieces of art I own that isn’t from my own efforts, or my family.

When his first book came out, we were all happy for him.  I hated that i couldn’t make it to NYC for his second book.

Yesterday I got word that Darque DeSade was with us no more. It was a shock to hear that I would never see him again. The pain that he suffered through for so long is now over.

Rest in peace My Brother. You will be missed


Service Book of Days 3/1/10

1 03 2010
  • Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?)  is about 40 degrees and windy.  We just got through another major snowstorm (2nd one in February).   We got about 2ft of snow…great for making snowmen but horrible for shoveling.
  • my thoughts… are sad.  My sister died last week (2/25) and I feel like something is missing.  My sisters and brothers are integral to me.  We are all so different yet we manage to truly love each other.   I feel the loss of this one…like a number has been ticked off…one down 8 to go.
  • Today’s Quote… Death can sneak up on you like a silent kitten, surprising you with it’s touch and you have a right to act surprised. Other times death stomps in the front door, unwanted and unannounced, and makes it’s noisy way to your seat on the sofa. Hugh Elliott, Bible Versus, 11-27-08
    Author of the Standing Room Only Weblog (http://blogs.salon.com/0001573/).
  • i am thankful for…more time…different days
  • From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) appreciating the small touches…flowers on a table…changing curtains in a room…new pillows on the couch…scented candles…a new picture on the wall…a table clothsmall touches that make a home more comfy and inviting.
  • From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?)  nothing different this week…may make some lasagna though…feel in the need for comfort foods.
  • i am wearing… a black cowl neck sweater, grey pants and black boots…hmmm I wonder if this is my Monday outfit as I seem to have worn the shirt and boots last week…lol
  • i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;)  nothing at the moment.
  • my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  no adventures this week.  I will be hanging around the house with my kids .
  • Becoming well read…(what are you reading this week?)  No books this week…just thoughts and adjustments. 
  • i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Words of hope and peace and confidence for my children.  Words of perseverance and the desire to do it now instead of later.   I pray for the upcoming move to be smooth and without any issues.
  • Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) No songs today
  • One of my favorite things…is to receive a hug from someone who really wants to give it to me and to give one in return.  I have realized that one of the walls I have built was one of keeping people away.  It is hard for me to allow people to touch me and to really allow them to “touch me” in a physical/emotional way.
  • further plans for this week…keeping it low…no plans for the week.
  • Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission via stock exchange licence: http://www.sxc.hu/help/7_2


Here are the directions for these posts:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention my blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!   www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

Also, feel free to look around this service site as it has many pieces of great information/resources.

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me.

Leaving Your Sub Alone = Bad Idea

6 08 2008

I wish people would get a clue. Another person dies because his domme left him alone while she went to take a shower.

Prosecutors say the 47-year-old man died of asphyxiation after the 58-year-old woman left him bound and gagged and went to have a shower.

She taped his mouth shut and tied him to a post using rope and a dog chain.

People need to get a clue. Never leave a bound person alone, PERIOD!!!


Another BDSM Related Death in the News

26 04 2008

Yet again, don’t ever leave your sub alone. A Nashville woman is facing charges when the tied up her husband and gaged him, then left the house for a few hours. A video and the full story can be found here.

James Bargy was found dead in the Bargy’s bedroom on Saturday. Family members say James dressed himself in lingerie and asked his wife to tie his hands and feet behind his back.

Authorities say James Bargy suffocated and believe he was alone anywhere from twelve to twenty hours.

It always saddens me when I read these stories. Safety is very important.


I found an AP video of the story:

Another Sad Death Due to Unsafe BDSM Practices

7 04 2008

I have always tried to espouse safety when partaking S&M behavior.  No matter how much pleasure we receive from an act, we must stop before we harm the ones we love or ourselves. We have too may people depending upon ourselves.

This brings us to the latest tale of a father who died from sadomasochistic behaviors.

A father-of-three who had a fetish for bondage and sado-masochism, died after inhaling chloroform through a biological warfare mask, an inquest heard today.

Christopher Harris from Newport, South Wales, was found dead in the bedroom of his home on the city’s Cardiff Road with the Soviet Union military issue mask still attached on October 28 last year.

Ok, here is the truth. Never play by yourself. This is the main way people die doing what it is that we do. If your a dominant NEVER LEAVE YOUR SUB ALONE during a scene.  That is all you have to remember.


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