How NOT to negotiate – “I need to be Hurt”

13 07 2010

A tongue in cheek perspective of my learnings as a slave in this style of my life.

So here is my first post in my new blog spot.  They will not be in any sort of order just random things that I have learned in my journey of being a slave to Master Void and stepping into this lifestyle.  Some posts will be longer than others,  due to my inability sometimes to understand stuff quickly (yeah, sometimes I do need a brick wall to fall on me before I actually get it, or more like…”let’s touch that to see it will burn”?

When I first became aware of the stuff that was available in this lifestyle and that there are people who like what I like and actually want/need the things that I did, I felt like a kid in a candy store.  Eyes wide open willing to take everything all at once.

One of the things I remember saying is that I want someone to hurt me.  At that time what I meant by hurt me was something totally different from what I could have experienced. In my mind I wanted to be sexually excited and then hurt in the stimulating ways I might find exciting.  What was probably heard was that I wanted them to hurt me in anyway they choose.   There are so many different ways to be hurt that leaving it open with a general statement of “hurt me” left me open to be hurt in any and every way.

I got lucky and was able to meet people who made me take a moment and slow down and took the time to actually talk to me and not take advantage of my innocence…that was saved for when I knew a bit more…LOL  Luckily I have found there are more people in this lifestyle willing to help and not take advantage of a new person but as in everything there are exceptions.

Different ways that can cause hurt:

Pressure points

Pinching

Biting

Hard Flogging

Canes

Textures (Funny as this may sound I found out that using rabbit fur on my skin can cause me great discomfort.  Man, I hate that soft touching stuff…grrrr)

Whipping

Needles

Spanking (with hands or instruments)

Squeezing an arm, leg, hand

Instruments for Electrical play (HATE them)

These are but a few things that can cause hurt physically.

Also, a phrase I learned after being with Master was consensual/non consent.  While you might be thinking wow that hurts ways more than I want and you are saying stop, no more some people can take that to me please continue.  There are people who play along the edges and continue even after someone has said no.  In a trust filled relationship this can be an exciting part of play.  I absolutely love it when Master hurts me even though I don’t like the way he hurts me. ( Electrical play bad).  The exciting part for me is 1. it pleases him to hurt me, 2. it totally excites me when he’s please.  But again this is in a relationship built upon trust for both of us.

No might mean no to you but to the other person that could be the continued green light to not stop

This link gives a simple description for consensual/non-consent

My words of learning:  Be specific with your words and with what you actually want.  Stepping out and trying anything/everything with someone a random person (even if they are well known in the community) can be detrimental to you and the person you choose to play with.  Miscommunication about desires can make scening unbearable for you and for the Top.  In the example of consensual/non consent if it is later found out that you really didn’t want what was happening there could be legal ramifications.

This lifestyle has so much to offer and being wise and taking responsibility for self learning will make it that much enjoyable for you.

Questions, comments please feel free to share.

MV’s esclave

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I found it interesting.  The guy has some good techniques (I can flog but I look more like a flailing monkey.  It does work for my girl though).

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