Negotiating and Slavery and Surrender

18 01 2014

Question:

“If M/s is a power exchange, an exchange being “the act of giving or taking one thing in return for another” What power did any of the master’s transfer to their slaves?

If the answer is none- then there is no exchange of power.

If there was a transfer of power, a negotiated act, we no longer have m/s we have d/s.”

Answer:

I have been thinking about the above question for a while now.

The Master is giving his power (control, decision making, etc.) to the slave in exchange for her power (control, decision making, etc).

It’s really not complicated.

For me the power is me giving up my power to make certain decisions, do certain acts, and to become a certain way at his directive.

This is in exchange for his power to me of control, live by his rule, and live a certain way under his direction.

Whether there is more or less negotiation in M/s or D/s is up to the individuals or parties involved.  The level of negotiations are irrelevant.

Question:

Is slavery a negotiable act? If yes, how does one negotiate surrender?

Answer:

Since each individual has free will and we are living in a time when real slavery is outlawed and prosecuted in America, the choice we make to be enslaved to someone is therefore something that is negotiated.  How those negotiations look and what is negotiated is between the people or parties involved.

With my choice of being consciously enslaved to Master comes the giving up of further negotiations on how to act, speak, and to accept the choices made by the Master for the slave.  Again this is individualized for each relationship pertaining to what is and is not negotiated.

—————————————

Truthfully this lifestyle we live is all about negotiations and what we choose to live under.  It boggles my mind sometimes why we choose to complicate it with issues of who is more real than the other.  Your kink is not my kink and that is okay and until M/s becomes a legally allowed concept with legislation and everything we need to remember YKINMK and move on.

Definitions: 

ex·change  (ks-chnj)

v. ex·changedex·chang·ingex·chang·es
v.tr.

1. To give in return for something received; trade: exchange dollars for francs; exchanging labor for room and board.
2. To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.
3. To give up for a substitute: exchange a position in the private sector for a post in government.
4. To turn in for replacement: exchange defective merchandise at a store.
v.intr.

1. To give something in return for something received; make an exchange.
2. To be received in exchange: At that time the British pound exchanged for $2.80.


  pow·er  (pour)

n.

1. The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.
2. A specific capacity, faculty, or aptitude. Often used in the plural: her powers of concentration.
3. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might. See Synonyms at strength.
4. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.
5. A person, group, or nation having great influence or control over others: the western powers.
6. The might of a nation, political organization, or similar group.
7. Forcefulness; effectiveness: a novel of unusual power.
8. Chiefly Upper Southern U.S. A large number or amount. See Regional Note at powerful.

 

 Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding, resolve point of difference, or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue, to produce an agreement upon courses of action, to bargain for individual or collective advantage, to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests of two people/parties involved in negotiation process. Negotiation is a process where each party involved in negotiating tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of the process. Negotiation is intended to aim at compromise.

Negotiation occurs in business, non-profit organizations, government branches, legal proceedings, among nations and in personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, and everyday life. The study of the subject is called negotiation theory. Professional negotiators are often specialized, such as union negotiatorsleverage buyout negotiatorspeace negotiatorshostage negotiators, or may work under other titles, such as diplomatslegislators or brokers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negotiation

surrender

[sə rendər]

verb

To surrender is defined as to give up control of something or to give something up to another.

consciously
Variant of conscious

adjective

  1. having a feeling or knowledge (of one’s own sensations, feelings, etc. or of external things); knowing or feeling (that something is or was happening or existing); aware; cognizant
  2. able to feel and think; in the normal waking state
  3. aware of oneself as a thinking being; knowing what one is doing and why
  4. self-conscious
  5. accompanied by an awareness of what one is thinking, feeling, and doing; intentional: conscious humor
  6. known to or felt by oneself: conscious guilt




Real Life Is Hard

21 08 2013

We are all united by our desire for the unusual. We crave our secret fetishes. We keep them private, and build up elaborate fantasies about them. If we are lucky, we get a chance to enact them. Make the real. Sometimes it is for but an hour, others it is for a weekend. A few of us get to live them all of our lives. We find that special partner to connect with. To help us reach our dreams.

Real life gets in the way a lot of times. Jobs, family, physical and mental health. Each of these can cause us to loose our path and loose our focus.

That has been my life lately. I am working hard on getting back on the path, but it is difficult. A challenge that must be faced. This isn’t just a part of my life, this is who I am. It is what makes me happy. It is why I chose my life partner and married her.

There is much that has been done, but there is much more that there is to do.  For those of you in crisis, good luck. I know what its like.

MV





The Parable of Three Cubes of Ice

10 02 2013
Ice cubes in a glass of iced tea. Lighting con...

Ice cubes in a glass of iced tea. Lighting consisted of sunlight coming through the kitchen window, background is my kitchen table. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today I was attending the Local MasT (Masters and slaves together) meeting and was reminded of a tale I told years ago. Some how it had slipped my mind. But tonight I am sharing with you all.

The rule was simple.

3 cubes of ice. She was to have His drink prepared each evening when he came home. He was specific. Not 2 cubes, not 4 cubes, but exactly 3 cubes is what he wanted in his drink. And thus it went for a time.

 

One evening, she ran out of ice and only had two cubes for his drink. So she prepared his drink, and waited for  his punishment. He came home, preoccupied with work, and took his drink, patted her on the head, and went off to the study to work some more. Not a word was said about the cubes.

So the next day, she wondered why he didn’t say anything. So she gave him a drink with 4 cubes. And again he was too busy to notice.

Two days became a week, then two, then three. Inside the slave wondered if he still loved her, what was wrong, why wasn’t she being punished.

Eventually he noticed… And thought back and couldn’t remember when it had changed. He knew it wasn’t the first time.

And he was afraid of admitting a mistake.

Sadly, because neither would speak up on this, the relationship would end.

Take a moment, and think on the lesson and learn the importance of noticing the difference in 2 and 3 cubes makes in a relationship.

 

MV

 





Post for Monday

23 07 2012

Nothing new with me at the moment.

Our weekend was good.

We saw Batman.  I would recommend it to anyone.  Great wrap up to a trilogy

Sad start to the week with the stuff going on in Colorado.   As President Obama said…life is precious and each moment we have with each other is important.

 

Waste no more time talking about great souls and how they should be. Become one yourself!

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180 (121 AD – 180 AD)





To Slaves: Yes you Have a Choice

20 07 2012
A BDSM-style collar that buckles in the back. ...

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Ok. I saw something on FetLife today that really annoyed me. A slave essentially said the following:

It isn’t my choice to do this, my Master made me do this.

Bull-fucking-shit.

Yes slaves, unless you are brain-damaged or brainwashed, it is your choice. It may not be your preference but you choose every day to obey and honor your Master. Do not demean that choice by saying that it isn’t yours to make. Own it. Be proud of it.

Now, if you are a slave who is beaten and kept chained naked in an unheated damp basement, then I am wrong in your case. You don’t have a choice. Everyone else, watch your language.

(And if your that chained/caged/beaten slaves master, message me about how the fuck you got away with it.

MV





Being a Real Master Is Hard Work

11 07 2012

I knew this when I started. Being a good master is hard. Really hard.  It requires constant attention to your behavior. Requires consistency in your actions. That doesn’t mean you can’t grow. You can change. But you need to allow your slave to adjust.

Watch out for love. It will sap your will. It will make you less consistent. I was aware of this possibility, it still happened.

And, when you figure it out, it is a long slow recovery. Only you can fix the shit you created.

Remember though, that it can be fixed. and you have to fix it.

 

MV





Reflections on what home feels like

19 06 2012

I was recently interviewed for an article concerning the first conference I have ever went to…BlackBEAT.

I read the article and wasn’t really feeling the slant the article took and it didn’t actually vibe with me.  For some reason I kept wishing that the article was focussed more on expanding the classes, having more extras…fun, fun, fun.

Then I thought about it more.  This article was actually spot on.  There was so much truth in this article….simple truth that makes BlackBEAT more than just another conference in a long line of conferences.  There is just something about hugs at BlackBEAT.

When I made the decision to attend BlackBEAT alone I worried that I would get lost in the mix of people that would attend.  One of the things I did was sign up to volunteer so that I could be seen and get to know others who came.  I am normally a quiet person in crowds and not very welcoming to others so this was my way of getting out of my head.   I had no need to worry.  The first person I met when I entered the hotel was Cyberdiva.  She might not realize this or even remember it but that hug and welcome she gave me meant the world to me.  I felt accepted and welcomed.

It touched something in me and  no matter what the rest of the conference held that hug opened me up to be receptive to other hugs and other meetings and other experiences outside of what I usually allowed in my personal space.  When Master and I were leaving the O’Kink Family Reunion, Mistress Max hugged me to say goodbye and I just broke down and cried.  There is just something about hugs given and received at BlackBEAT.

I have to say with each BlackBEAT I have attended it is the same feeling…even at the scaled down day of Survivor Saturday.  Seeing everyone, coming home, being around family…those are the things that make BlackBEAT for me.  The classes, the knowledge shared, the lessons taught and learned are icing on a delicious red velvet cake.

Think I am the only way who feels this way…Nopecheck it outthere are others.

If you feel like stepping out and attending a conference this should be your first step…BlackBEAT 2012.  Go with open arms as hugs will be given freely.








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