Let It Flow…

Words for the day: Let it Flow

 

The chorus for this song has been playing in my head all week. Sometimes in the background most times in the foreground when I wake up.

 

The song talks about releasing a relationship but I think it can also mean that we need to release those things that are not good for us (habits, relationships, behaviors, anger, frustration, hopelessness, wishful thinking, love, whatever). The pain we feel from releasing these things hurts but once the hurt stops the healing begins.

 

Sometimes we just need to make the decision to Let it Flow back into the universe in order to receive so much more.

 

Happy Day Everyone 🙂

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vJrUMD0AZU&feature=related

Trusting Again

To me trust is like seeing a flower bloom.  Little by little the flower blooms.  The tight flower releases becoming softer and softer.  You open yourself up and let down your guard.  No protective coverings, soft and yielding.

pink roses Royalty Free Stock Photo

In some ways you connect and intertwine yourself with someone else.    It is not something that most people give lightly.  Deep trust in M/s relationships is a must.  Both parties have to be willing to let go and bloom.

Trust is not lost all at once it happens in stages, it is like a death.

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

“If we fall, we don’t need self-recrimination or blame or anger – we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again.”

~Sharon Salzberg, O Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004

Once the decision is made to rebuild trust in someone, the decision must also made to be open again.  It is not an easy thing, basically you are starting over again with different information and reversing the stages of grief.

This is a hard thing and everyone needs to really access themselves to see if it can be done.  Sometimes holding onto  the hurt of putting themselves out there again makes people want to not bloom with that person anymore.

Blooming rose Royalty Free Stock Photo

If you do decide to stay beating yourself up and bringing up the past will not move you forward and will not help the relationship grow or change.  Time must be given to heal but healing must be done.  Self healing, relationship healing, regaining trust.

Please: vote against amendment one if you live in NC.

This is a horrible thing coming to our state. Please vote against it on May 8th (or earlier if possible).
Protect NC Families.
Watch:

Trust

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.” ~Frank Crane

Giving someone your trust as the quote says is not a black and white kinda of thing. The popular thought is being able to trust someone who is completely honest all the time. Those lies you tell a friend who is feeling a bit body conscious is not being honest all the time. Then the differences are made between big lies and little lies.

For me I don’t require truth in everything. Trust is not built on just one thing for me it is built on many things. To trust I require, honesty concerning the things that have been determined crucial (faithfulness, consistency, respect, being there for me, having a shoulder to cry on, someone who means what they say, etc.) I think you get the picture.

When trust is lost in a relationship it is not just that one thing that is lost it is all those things that go with trusting someone that is lost. Once lost it can be gotten back but it takes time. Although it is never the same as before. There’s that voice in the back of your brain or that piece in your heart that is kept separate and closed against full trust though. It’s like breaking the handle off of your favorite mug. You never really find all the pieces to glue it perfectly together again.

Some relationships can be better than it was before as it helps remove the newness rapper and expose the realness of the relationship. It is in the realness of a relationship that the relationship can strengthen if the relationship is still wanted by two people.

Some relationships end. Which is sometimes the best way to survive. I think sometimes people hold on too long to something that was not meant to be forever. There is freedom in giving yourself permission with being okay with leaving. As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one then you know what to do.

Neither is right as the decision is determined by the participants. I prefer to stay. Work it out if it can be and build a better, different relationship.

Topping from the Bottom: What Does It Mean?

My slave wrote about this a while back. But I have been reading others posts on FetLife, and I realized a lot of people are misinformed about what “Topping from the bottom” really is. I have seen far too many tops try to manipulate their partners by telling them inappropriately that they were trying to take control from the dominant by expressing themselves.  Frankly, that isn’t exactly what this means.

A dominant should not do this. Topping from the bottom can be a serious issue. But for some people, it is how their relationship is structured. Topping from the bottom is when the bottom directs how the scene or relationship goes. In a more traditional BDSM relationship (if there is such a thing), the dominant is in the one providing direction and control of the subs activities. In this situation a sub is “topping from the bottom” when they try to manipulate a dominant’s feeling to provide what that want. That is the issue here. Manipulation. typically we call this passive aggressive behavior. That is what makes it wrong.

A sub is well within their rights to let the dominant know what they need.  What they require in the relationship. A dominant needs to listen to this. They need to hear what the sub is saying.  And that isn’t topping from the bottom.

But sometimes Dominants try to manipulate their submissives too. This is equally bad. Subs, don’t fall for this trap. Doms, don’t pull it.

MV

Update: This writing applies to all types of relationships. M/s, D/s, t/b. It doesn’t matter.

Service Book of Days 4/16/12

Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) are such beautiful sounds of nature.

my thoughts…are on doing what I need to do

Today’s Quote:   

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content webcomic, #352, 05-04-05

Or in other words you can say Fuck’em and move on 🙂
i am thankful for…my parents.  They have taught me great life lessons and made me the person who I am today by their examples of love, respect, dedication, loving self and family :)))

From my service training…nothing

i am wearing…a bathrobe

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) Nothing

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) Listening to an iTunes U book about Programming Methodology 😐


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Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. :)