A Spanking Game?

6 12 2014

It has been a while since my last post I know, but I ran across something I wanted to share. Kotaku has a new post about a spanking game. It is about a domme trying to get a sub excited by spanking him. The game, called Hurt me Plenty, is designed to be used with a Leap Motion, so you can get into the action. Gameplay is about our community’s focus on consent. Seems pretty cool.

It is an odd little thing, but I thought I would share.


Why I love Electroplay

28 08 2014

I teach Electroplay.  I am glad I found this video to share with you why I love it so.

Preventing Date Rape with Date Rape Drug Detection

25 08 2014

So we have a big issue of women and men setting down drinks and getting them dosed with some sort of drug. This ends up with robbery, rape or worse.  I ran across some interesting stories in the news where technology is being leveraged to combat this. The first story was on Gizmodo and Jezebel  via the Daily Mail about some people at NC State Material Science department creating nail polish that detects drugs in drinks.


That is in the future, in the now, LifeHacker has a story about coasters and strips that can detect tainted drinks.  Perhaps you should get some.

Black BEAT 2014 Was Off the Chain This Year

18 08 2014

BlackOut2014Ok, I may be biased, but this is one of the best Black BEATS in recent years.  I have heard so much from the participants about how they enjoyed it.  There were so many new faces too.  More than any conference I can remember (excepting the first one). It had energy too.  And the after parties rocked (let’s not get into the male stripper for the ladies, I hear they had a lot of fun in that after party too). The DJ in the dungeon rocked.  What other event does that?  I’m sure there are some, but this one was awesome.  I hope that one day you guys have a chance to get to an event that is half this good.

Now I will admit my biases. I love this conference. I started on the first one. and have only missed a couple of them.  I have been the Head of Security for 4 years, and was on the Core Member board this year. I also was able to present on two topics this year. My Electrical Play Demo class, and a less formal Cane & Crops lounge.  I got a lot of positive feed back from the attendees which I really appreciate.

Did you attend Black BEAT, in years past or this year? Let me and the other readers know about your experiences in the comments.

A Research Call

23 06 2014

I got an interesting message the other day from a young lady asking for her with her research. I thought it was a subject that needed more exposure, so I offered her to ask for help for her.  So take a look below and see if you would like to help. POC ResearchPOC Research (2)

Walk Away

26 01 2014

Negotiations are important in our Lifestyle. Even in a M/s relationship, at some point in the relationship you start talking about what is involved. That is negotiation. Finding out what you want, what you need in a relationship. And you have to find out what the other person is offering. Are they compatible? Will they get you where you want to go? Be who you need to be?

If they don’t, walk away. This is mainly for the D-types. Leave. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do not manipulate the s-type. Do not try to convince then you can do what they want, if that isn’t what you want. That isn’t owning your shit. That isn’t your role as a Dominant. That isn’t being true to your purpose.That isn’t who you are. You are being dishonest to the s. You are lying to them, to you.  A real dominant owns their desires. Owns their needs. Doesn’t subvert it just to get some pussy. To get laid. This Lifestyle is about more than sex. Sure sex is great, but it isn’t everything.  You can find sex in a lot of places, with out deceit, lying, conning. Be honest. Be a dominant.

Don’t be a Dumbinant.


Negotiating and Slavery and Surrender

18 01 2014


“If M/s is a power exchange, an exchange being “the act of giving or taking one thing in return for another” What power did any of the master’s transfer to their slaves?

If the answer is none- then there is no exchange of power.

If there was a transfer of power, a negotiated act, we no longer have m/s we have d/s.”


I have been thinking about the above question for a while now.

The Master is giving his power (control, decision making, etc.) to the slave in exchange for her power (control, decision making, etc).

It’s really not complicated.

For me the power is me giving up my power to make certain decisions, do certain acts, and to become a certain way at his directive.

This is in exchange for his power to me of control, live by his rule, and live a certain way under his direction.

Whether there is more or less negotiation in M/s or D/s is up to the individuals or parties involved.  The level of negotiations are irrelevant.


Is slavery a negotiable act? If yes, how does one negotiate surrender?


Since each individual has free will and we are living in a time when real slavery is outlawed and prosecuted in America, the choice we make to be enslaved to someone is therefore something that is negotiated.  How those negotiations look and what is negotiated is between the people or parties involved.

With my choice of being consciously enslaved to Master comes the giving up of further negotiations on how to act, speak, and to accept the choices made by the Master for the slave.  Again this is individualized for each relationship pertaining to what is and is not negotiated.


Truthfully this lifestyle we live is all about negotiations and what we choose to live under.  It boggles my mind sometimes why we choose to complicate it with issues of who is more real than the other.  Your kink is not my kink and that is okay and until M/s becomes a legally allowed concept with legislation and everything we need to remember YKINMK and move on.


ex·change  (ks-chnj)

v. ex·changedex·chang·ingex·chang·es

1. To give in return for something received; trade: exchange dollars for francs; exchanging labor for room and board.
2. To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.
3. To give up for a substitute: exchange a position in the private sector for a post in government.
4. To turn in for replacement: exchange defective merchandise at a store.

1. To give something in return for something received; make an exchange.
2. To be received in exchange: At that time the British pound exchanged for $2.80.

  pow·er  (pour)


1. The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.
2. A specific capacity, faculty, or aptitude. Often used in the plural: her powers of concentration.
3. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might. See Synonyms at strength.
4. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.
5. A person, group, or nation having great influence or control over others: the western powers.
6. The might of a nation, political organization, or similar group.
7. Forcefulness; effectiveness: a novel of unusual power.
8. Chiefly Upper Southern U.S. A large number or amount. See Regional Note at powerful.


 Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding, resolve point of difference, or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue, to produce an agreement upon courses of action, to bargain for individual or collective advantage, to craft outcomes to satisfy various interests of two people/parties involved in negotiation process. Negotiation is a process where each party involved in negotiating tries to gain an advantage for themselves by the end of the process. Negotiation is intended to aim at compromise.

Negotiation occurs in business, non-profit organizations, government branches, legal proceedings, among nations and in personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, and everyday life. The study of the subject is called negotiation theory. Professional negotiators are often specialized, such as union negotiatorsleverage buyout negotiatorspeace negotiatorshostage negotiators, or may work under other titles, such as diplomatslegislators or brokers.



[sə rendər]


To surrender is defined as to give up control of something or to give something up to another.

Variant of conscious


  1. having a feeling or knowledge (of one’s own sensations, feelings, etc. or of external things); knowing or feeling (that something is or was happening or existing); aware; cognizant
  2. able to feel and think; in the normal waking state
  3. aware of oneself as a thinking being; knowing what one is doing and why
  4. self-conscious
  5. accompanied by an awareness of what one is thinking, feeling, and doing; intentional: conscious humor
  6. known to or felt by oneself: conscious guilt


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