How Not to Negotiate: Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the Bottom Girl, what you are doing is “topping from the bottom”.     I have no desire to be in control of this relationship so why would Sir say that I am topping from the bottom.   What exactly does it mean to Top from the bottom? I saw this definition from the Society ofContinue reading “How Not to Negotiate: Topping from the Bottom”

A Death in the Family

I was going to make a lite humorous post today, relating to some steampunk sex toys. That isn’t to be. Instead, I want to tell you about a friend of mine. Darque DeSade. Darque was a photographer and artist living in New York. We met through our times at BlackBEAT. He was a character. IContinue reading “A Death in the Family”

How not to negotiate: Sucks to be you

I remember early on in our relationship Master’s response to my saying something that I did not want to do was “well sucks to be you”.  I would laugh because in my mind it was a joke.  Of course he would take into account everything and pay attention to my feelings. As time went onContinue reading “How not to negotiate: Sucks to be you”

FetLife: A New User’s Guide part 1

FetLife really changed the game when it came online back in 2008. FetLife was a different sort of social networking site. Before it existed, the kink community congregated in sites like, and While they all served their purpose, and had thriving forums, they were first and foremost a meat market. Their focusContinue reading “FetLife: A New User’s Guide part 1”

The Road Map to Leadership

Sometime last year I was reading Seth Godin’s book “Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?” and in it he mentions something he calls the road map to leadership. This is a fantastic book on how to make you indispensable as an employee. But I wanted to focus on something he wrote on leadership. Basically, some people wouldContinue reading “The Road Map to Leadership”