Fetlife Decides to Appologize

11 09 2008

John Baku, the founder and owner of FetLife, issued an apology for the banning of some individuals earlier this week. I think this is an excellent step forward for this site, and a view of the character of the person behind the site.  Now frankly, I am not sure what happened, but it is good to see that John can apologize for a mistake, and move forward.

As an additional step forward, all individuals who were banned earlier this week were invited back.

I sincerely apologize to the whole community including those who were banned. I was wrong with the way I handled things. I should of given everyone that was banned two formal warnings before they were banned and held myself to the same standards I set for the rest of the community. I am sincerely sorry.

For the majority of the people who were banned I will be sending them an email to apologize for the way I handled the situation and invite them back to FetLife. I understand if they are apprehensive about coming back here but I hope over time they will join us.

For those who gave donations and want a refund I will refund them. All they have to do is email me requesting for me to refund their donation.

All I can say is well done. We will all make mistakes, but it is how we deal with them that reveals our true character.

MV

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20 responses

13 09 2008
JohnBaku

Very true! 🙂

14 09 2008
Mistress D.

being new to fetlife I have found to really enjoy it, glad it is working out the kinks, so to say.

13 02 2009
Catalina Loves

And learning from them 🙂

I hate making the same mistake twice!!!

13 02 2009
mastervoid

Learning is a good thing. Fetlife is a great site.

24 02 2009
David J. Baron

From I experienced recently with FetLife, John Baku and his team have not changed they behavior, they still ban people without notice or explanation.

Actually, if you read the banned page message (http://fetlife.com/banned.html), it’s extremely threatening and explicitly states that FetLife collects information on it’s members and is willing to use it against them.
This is actually illegal because during the account creation process, no where it’s stated that your IP is being recorded and the information given can be used for legal pursuits.

What’s the point of opening an account on a website, taking the time of uploading pics and writing a personal description when the owner (John Baku) and his “minions” can close & ban you arbitrary.

They wasting they users time, threatening them and plus they dare ask for donations.

The fact I’m opening a fetish production company, I have a exhaustive contact list which includes some of top players in the international fetish scene, I’m presently contacting them one by one, making sure they don’t advertise or join FetLife.

We cannot let John Baku and his group monopolize the fetish scene and then abuse it.

24 02 2009
mastervoid

David,

All I can say is that your experience is not mine on FetLife. How he (and his “minions” as you call them, I prefer volunteers, they are helping on their own time) can close and ban you (and again, Arbitrarily? well you can email him directly and find out. It isn’t hard to get in touch with him) is that he owns the site. We play by his rules. I happen to think that they have fostered a wonderful community.

I wish you had had a better experience there, but I am thinking that you know what you did to get banned. And while you may have an extensive contact list, I doubt it is exhaustive list.

But, that said, we are all entitled to our opinions. I wish you luck.

MV

24 02 2009
David J. Baron

I did email John Baku directly, I did email they support team directly, at first I got response telling me that they didn’t know why my account was deleted then 2 days after I get a banned message when I try to go back to they site, I email then again they refuse to respond.

If I knew why I got banned then this situation would not be so frustrating but I DON’T why and it happened without warning.

You assume very much,

David J. Baron

P.S. you can review a detailed explaination of my experience at http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/371/RipOff0371092.htm

24 02 2009
mastervoid

lol, Yep. But then I am ok with that too.

24 02 2009
David J. Baron

I don’t understand your reply?

24 02 2009
mastervoid

You said I assumed much. I assume that my experience with FetLife is Fantastic. I assume that I don’t know you, and what you say goes against my experience.

So yes, I assume much, and yes, I am ok with that.

FetLife has over 100,000 members, You are not going to get instant satisfaction when you have an issue. And finally, it is free, supported by advertisers and the community at large. I read you comments at ripoff reports and was largely unmoved.

24 02 2009
David J. Baron

Do you volunteer for FetLife by any chance?

24 02 2009
mastervoid

Nope. Though I do live on the tech support forums.

24 02 2009
David J. Baron

lol, ok……starting to understand

25 02 2009
JohnBaku

David J. Baron I am really sorry you had such a bad experience with FetLife. Can you please email me at johnbaku [at] fetlife [dot] com and I will personally look through your case and get to the bottom of things?

Once again I am really sorry about your bad experience. I would love to help you so please do email me back so I can work this out with you.

28 05 2011
Chiefalicious

Fetlife is run by morons, it’s rules seldom make sense, someone who starts a group gets all the power, those who participate have NONE, and anyone with a “Conservative political View” is shouted down verbally abused and hounded relentlessly out of the threads, if they aren’t bitching about your source they are personally attacking you, it makes no difference how many links, or how much proof You have, they are always right, you are always wrong……it is time this Bullshit stops

and some group Owners are allowed to slam people after they have been banned knowing they cant respond, which is Patently unfair, it’s time people pressure this site to Stop this shit and change it’s policies

29 05 2011
MasterVoid

@Chefalicious if you are looking for agreement or sympathy here, I am afraid you aren’t going to find it.

FetLife is run by an amazing crew of people that have set up a place for kinksters to congregate.

And if you don’t like how the groups are run, START YOUR OWN. Yes, the moderators can say what is going on in THEIR GROUPS. Free speech only applies when the government cracks down. Not the way a private company works (a conservative ideal I might add).

So, lump it and get over yourself. And stop spewing profanity, it only degrades your argument.

And I am not going into the contradictions involved with someone who is espousing conservative ideals claiming to be a part of an alternative, fetish based lifestyle.

So quit your whining, and either leave or start your own group.

Geesh, and that leaves the whole point of why someone conservative would even thing about coming here and thinking he would find sympathy. Yes, I have very liberal leanings.

You got to because the conservatives want to tell you who, and how you can FUCK!

MV

8 06 2012
sarahkellyxxx

Wow.. Im not quite sure what to make of either side of this argument..That it even becomes an issue in itself is alarming .

I very much like the ebay way of resolving matters before leaving negative feedback

After all,Non of us know each other online,initially,that only comes with time.

I had wanted to post on about ” I have just joined Fetlife and am very much looking forward to making new friends and having adventures with fellow filthsters” but I might hold back until I feel more familiar with Fetlife…

Sarah Kellyxxx ..

a porn/fetish model just looking to make friends+have fun 😉 x

23 07 2012
lilucious

i’ve had good experiences overall with Fetlife. Except it is kind of run like a town without a sheriff. If no one has a problem with you, you are ok, but if someone decides to make your life miserable then they are very free to do so and caretakers not much help.

29 09 2012
Travis Bickle

I am not all that active on Fetlife because like all media the middle-of-the-road gets swept aside. However, I have found it open and welcoming.

I am no fan of censorship but having looked through the things hosted on anonymous web services like Tor, I tend to agree with the people who think pedophiles and such should be excluded, and I know Fetlife has policies to that effect.

The fact that any website is so important to someone’s life that problems would stress them out says something about how isolating and alienating modern societies can be. It is also a testament to why, whenever possible we should support free and open systems.

(Fetlife largely is but I have big problems–regardless of legality–with any service that acts like once they obtain information about me it is then their possession. I had an adult website try to charge me 20 to delete all my info from their service when cancelling my account….fuck you Ashley Madison)

The fact is current law is unsettled, inadequate and IMHO, contrary to fundamental human rights like privacy and communication. I actually think Fetlife is outstanding in that regard amongst social media.

As for shouting down conservative ideologies…I guess that depends on your definition of conservative, I consider myself a libertarian and I have had no problems on Fetlife (whatever floats yer boat & it is not the role of gov’t to legislate consensual morality, I says).

If, on the other hand, you are the type of conservative who would vote for Rick Santorum….well then yeah, you’re fucked (missionary position, within marriage, no birth control fucked, of course)…maybe you should start a fetish site for conservative fetishists–might be huge–practical experience suggests repressed people love to cut loose with some kink…and then feel guilty.

26 10 2012
Helena

It seems to me that John Baku is trying to address your problems mister Dave J. Baron. I have absolutely none, nought, nada affiliations with fetlife, indeed I only recently joined and I’m having a ball. So do give John Baku a chance to help you through your issues.
Kind regards, Hellz

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