Kinky Folks Are Happier

31 08 2008

According to this article I found in the Times of India, Kinky folks are happier.  I knew I was a happy guy, but it is nice to see that as a whole we are happier.

Contrary to the general assumption that people involved in bondage and discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM) are sexually deficient, a new sex survey has now shows that such people are not damaged or dangerous, and might even be happier than those who practise “normal” sex.

“Our findings support the idea that bondage and discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM) is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority,” quoted Associate Professor Juliet Richters and her colleagues as writing in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The researchers even said that the practice was more common among gay, lesbian and bisexual people, and that participants were more likely to have been more sexually adventurous in other ways.

Happy days.


I Love a Nice Corset

28 08 2008

I happen to love a nice corset, and when I saw this one, I almost drooled.  It combines a few of my favorite things.  (Corsets, extreme stuff, and body modifications).

The Discipline Corset is the most restrictive corset that we offer on-line. Inspired by the many fictional stories written by extreme corset enthusiasts, this type of corset was used as a punishment for reluctant waist trainees, serious tightlacers, and as a sleeping corset. This corset can also be worn as a unique and beautiful dress.



Polyamory May Have Benefits

27 08 2008

I found this article while surfing today.  Seems that Poly may have benefits for the male in the relationship:

Research suggests that men from polygamist cultures live 12 per cent longer than those who limit their affections to one woman at a time.

It is thought men benefit from having a fuss made over them by a gaggle of women.
They may also better care of themselves into old age when they have a large family to feed, this week’s New Scientist reports.

This seems to be interesting.  Of course it leaves several questions.  It seems to focus on one male and many females, but there are other options.  Do the results hold?  One thing seems clear though:

It is my girl’s duty to find me more booty.

For health reasons of course.



25 08 2008

I learned a new word while spending time with Sir this past week.

Placate:  to appease or pacify, esp. by concessions or conciliatory gestures.

Sir and i were at the AfterGlow event that just closed our experience at BlackBEAT quite nicely.  Sir had mentioned that we would stay for a collaring ceremony which I was happy about because I had never seen a collaring before.  The collaring ceremony was going to start later than expected and Sir came over to me and started to tell me about the change to our plans.  I knew he had a long drive back so instead of letting him finish expressing his thoughts to me, I interrupted him and said it’s okay Sir we can leave whenever you are ready I don’t mind.   That did not go over well and his swift response pointed that out to me. 

I without realizing was trying to placate him.  In my relationship with my ex-husband I would do whatever I could to keep him with me to make him happy at the expense of myself.   I realized that I was doing the same with Sir. That I was trying to show him that I can be pliable and agreeing so that he wouldn’t think that being with me would be such a chore.

You know what that does, it devalues him as a responsible, thinking, caring man.  When I do that to Sir I basically treat him like a little child who does not know nor control his own emotions.    This is not the man I chose to be my Sir.  This is not the man I chose to be a positive influence for my children.   Someone said to me while I was at BlackBEAT that by my not listening or letting Sir finish his thoughts I could quite possibly miss something very important.

So what I have done now that I realized my desire to placate him, I have stopped, mindfully.  I am more aware of my not having to say anything when Sir says something to me.  I am not required to placate him or to fill his head with endless compliments or encouragements.  Before I speak Sir tells me to count to 3 which gives me time to not respond or to respond appropriately.

You know, the more that I am with Sir, the more that I appreciate myself with him.


BlackBEAT 08 Keynote by Mistress Max Rulz

23 08 2008

At BlackBEAT this year we had an amazing keynote address from Mistress Max Rulz.  I am reposting it here with permission in its entirety. You can read more about her here. I have been informed this link was no longer current.

The answer to the question can we all just get along? Is no!

Most of you would say the answer is no

I remember when i first said i wanted to do this speech, the response i got was —— omg if i have to listen to another we should be united speech i am going to throw up. Some of you may feel the same—admit it!

I had to think about that too. I have listened to too many unity in the community public love letters as well; at least that’s what i call them. I thought to myself lord what have i gotten myself into? Now, i have given a lot of thought to this over the last year. Read the rest of this entry »

Strange Happenings in Flordia

21 08 2008

Normally I don’t mention things that aren’t kinky or pervertable, but this time I think it is important. Our schools should be safe for our children, no matter what their sexual orientation is. That is why I was saddened to see an update to this story.

The American Civil Liberties Union successfully sued the district on behalf of a girl who protested against Principal David Davis, and a federal judge reprimanded Davis for conducting a “witch hunt” against gays. Davis was demoted, and school employees must now go through sensitivity training.

And despite all that, many in this conservative Panhandle community still wonder what, exactly, Davis did wrong.

“We are a small, rural district in the Bible Belt with strong Christian beliefs and feel like homosexuality is wrong,” said Steve Griffin, Holmes County’s school superintendent, who keeps a Bible on his desk and framed scriptures on his office walls.

I know at least one place I won’t ever be going to.  Love our children, don’t inflict hate upon them.


Where are the Het BDSM Bars?

21 08 2008

I ran across this article in the New York Blade Online, discussing the leather subculture.  I found an interesting part where it speaks about why there are no Het Leather Bars.

Why has the leather scene long been considered a sub-culture of the gay community? In every large city gay men in their leather regalia can be seen heading towards the local Eagle or Ramrod. Because there are no equivalent heterosexual leather bars (although there have been underground S/M clubs), people have come to the erroneous conclusion that the leather scene is strictly a gay phenomenon. Nothing could be further from the truth. For instance, The Eulenspiegel Society (TES) is a New York-based S/M group that caters largely to straights.

“Since there are other groups in NYC dedicated to gay males and lesbians, TES tends to get bisexuals and heterosexuals as members,” said Susan Wright of TES. (Wright is also a spokesperson for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.) “It’s true that there are more gay leather bars,” she said. “There aren’t any het BDSM [bondage and S/M] bars because you can’t play in the same space as liquor is sold. BDSM clubs that allow playing are non-alcoholic, and these clubs cater to gays as well as hets and bi’s on different nights under different promoters. Gay men don’t play in the leather bars—they go there to meet other gay men. Very similar are the many swing clubs around the U.S. that meet at bars where the members socialize, and then if they want to play they leave to go to another location.”

This makes perfect sense to me.  Let me know what you think, in the comments.


%d bloggers like this: