FETLIFE: A Review.

8 09 2008

A while back, I decided to give Fetlife a try. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it is a site for those of us interested in BDSM. Kind of a BDSM friendly MySpace or FaceBook. Initially, I was underwhelmed. It was slow, there wasn’t much of a community. I was disappointed. But I kept my eye on it.

I can report now that I really do enjoy it.  I am there at least once ever day now. The groups are fantastic (at least the ones I have joined).  The community has grown tremendously. For a second opinion I recomend you look here. I found the link and her background about Fetlife interesting. She even wrote an article about it for the Montreal Mirror (FetLife is based in Canada).

I think the following explains FetLife the best.

Baku’s philosophy is disarmingly simple. “My mantra is, do what’s best for the women. If you do that, the men will come.” With this in mind, he refuses to add a refined search feature, so men cannot seek out women within specific parameters in order to cruise them.

“It’s not a dating site, it’s an anti-dating site,” he deadpans. “If you do meet somebody through FetLife, it’s because you had good conversations in a group and hit it off. Any other way is purely about sex.”

It may seem counter-intuitive to create a site for kinky people that’s actually not about hooking them up to have kinky sex. But, says Baku, it works: “Because of this, we have an unconventionally large number of women on the site. The majority of dating sites have under five to 10 per cent women, but we have a ratio of almost 50-50. Or let’s say 40-50, when I put in the genderqueer, male-to-female and female-to-male people.”

Check it out. I am MasterVoid there too.


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