this is what i want you to do today girl?
go car shopping…not buying.
Do you understand girl?
yes Sir, i understand. i’ll do that. (verbalized)
i have to beg my sister to borrow her car so that i can go suit shopping and food shopping and pick up food from my mom before i can go car shopping. i am not going to have enough time to go car shopping (unverbalized)
with Sir i am to be obedient, open, and honest at all times in all situations. yes my life is hectic but in order for Sir to be in my life he has to know my life and all of my struggles and situations. my fault was in not telling Sir what else i had going on. i was being dishonest by omission and disobedient. therefore i was not being open or honest to him.
i am learning to be Sir’s. this means i need to learn how to be open in my life, disseminating all informaiton and accepting of His input into my life.
i also realized something else, during these times when i am being dishonest by omission i am doing something else. i am trying to govern his feelings. i am in a way trying to control how Sir should feel. as a single mom i am so used to making other peoples lives easier and disseminating the appropriate information to them that i unconciously do the same thing to Sir. that is not my place with Sir.
my love for Sir should show in my deeds as well as my words. words are empty without truth.