Mistakes, Learning, and the Art of BDSM

29 04 2009

I was reminded today that the greatest opportunities we have is through failure. When we fail, there are always repercussions, but we know what we did wrong, and that will help us succeed in the future. Often we make the mistake of thinking the world will end when we fail. But to tell the truth, many of our most successful entrepreneurs had long histories of failure, before succeeding. Success and failure are related to each other, much in the same way that light and dark are. This we would do well to remember in all our endeavors.

But, I digress. How this relates to me personally and BDSM in particular comes from the failures I have had in the past with relationships with others. I have failed to be a good Dom in the past. I have failed to follow up on actions I have promised. I have failed to know what expectations submissives have. With each failure though, I learned something. I learned to manage the information flow so I read each and every email that comes in, not have a journal that I look at periodically. That isn’t how I work. I learned the importance of a collar in a relationship, by not bringing one to my first slave. I learned, and I grew.

But each time I failed, there were prices to be paid. I lost relationships with people, hell I hurt people. But the world did not come crashing to an end. I survived, and frankly I got to be a much better Master because of the failures I have experienced in the past. That is truth.

What failures have you had? Did they make you a better Dominant? A better person? Or did you succumb to failure? Did you wallow in self pity? Let me know, in the comments.


Event Security

27 04 2009

I have something of a reputation involving security at BDSM events. I have served as the director of security for BlackBEAT the previous 2 years, and will be serving again this year.  Recently I was asked to serve at a local event for CLOAK.  This got me thinking about event security, and I thought I would share some tips that has made me successful at what I do.

  1. Know the event details.  In order to provide security at an event, one must know the details of what the event offers.  Special concerns of the events attendees. Will there be nudity? Who can use cameras? What are the issues about Cell phones?  Last year, BlackBEAT had a wild west theme, so I had to let everyone know that firearms, real or not, were not allowed at the hotel.
  2. Know the layout of the building. Get a map of the building if possible.  If not, walk about the area your even will be taking place in.  Know the placement of the doors and windows in each class room.  Be sure that the blinds are closed, to prevent people from peaking in for a free show.
  3. Presence is important.  It is important that your security staff are clearly identifiable and always present, but you do not want to seem threatening. Make sure that the staff knows what to do when vanilla members of the public show up.  Additionally important is how to handle a forgotten or lost badge.
  4. Your staff is often the face of the event.  A lot of times security is called upon for directions to nearby restaurants, locations of the smoking areas, and the restroom. While not strictly part of our job, it does make for a better overall event impression.  The little touches count.
  5. The hotel staff are your friends.  Remember, your event is paying a lot of money to use the facilities.  The hotel staff wants you to be happy.  Often times you may be a point of contact, should the event coordinator be unavailable.  Be sure that they know who you are.

I hope this helps you with your next event.  Please feel free to let me know what you think in the comments.


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Gor Protocols

24 04 2009

So i have been studying about different protocols for  Gor, Leather, Dungeon and I thought I would share some of the links to what I have found.

This post will be about the links I found on Gor. Gor is a very male dominated sort of way of life and is only male and female generated.  I find the lifestyle of Gor living to be interesting.   I hope you enjoy them:

Stones of Order



Keep in mind that each house of Gor have their own rules and no one rule can indicate what happens in another house much like a all M/s relationships they are based on the Masters direction.


20 04 2009

So, I like toys.  I like hurty toys.  A friend of mine has a new website selling wonderful hurty toys.  Dragontailz.com has Dragontails, cuffs, floggers and other implements of pain and pleasure infliction.  And the guys who runs it is really nice.

In case you were unaware, a dragontail is a single tail whip, made from a rolled piece of leather.  it is about 4ft or so long and has a nice thuddy one.  And this guy made mine.  Though I would share a new find.


Quick Pervertable

16 04 2009

I am always on the look out for things I can pervert, I found a good one. For those of you looking for something to hang your slave from take a look at this.

It supports up to 300 pounds, so I think it would be great for a little bondage action.  And the price is nice too.


Super Kink!

13 04 2009

I ran across an article in the USAToday about a new book collecting the artwork from Joe Shuster, the co-creator of Superman. This artwork is not the Man of Steel stuff. In Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman’s Co-Creator Joe Shuster you will find the artwork from his underground comics. If you want to see Clark Kent and Lois Lane in bondage, then here is your book.

Amazon also has the book and a blurb from the publisher:

Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman’s Co-creator Joe Shuster showcases rare and recently discovered erotic artwork by the most seminal artist in comics, Joe Shuster. Created in the early 1950s when Shuster was down on his luck after suing his publisher, DC Comics, over the copyright for Superman, he illustrated these images for an obscure series of magazines called “Nights of Horror,” published under the counter until they were banned by the U.S. Senate. Juvenile deliquency, Dr. Fredric Wertham, and the Brooklyn Thrill Killers gang all figure into this sensational story.
The discovery of this artwork reveals the “secret identity” of this revered comics creator, and is sure to generate controversy and change the perception of the way we look at Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, and Jimmy Olsen forever. The book includes reproductions of these images, and an essay that provides a detailed account of the scandal and the murder trial that resulted from the publication of this racy material.

Something for your weekend

10 04 2009

I know this is a bit of short notice but if you are in the NY/NJ area and have time Jay Wiseman will be giving two classes at the Crawlspace in Montclair, NJ on 4/11.

He will be talking about conflict resolution and given a demonstration on elastic predicament bondage.

This was copied from the write up on the NJ Kink page on Fetlife:

Apr 11th: 2 classes by renowned bdsm educator and lawyer, Jay Wiseman will be presented at Dressing For Pleasure in Montclair, New Jersey. He will be on hand after each class to the students for book signings.

Click here and here to view additional details and to RSVP.

If you go, please post a comment on how your thoughts from these classes.

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