Mistakes, Learning, and the Art of BDSM

29 04 2009

I was reminded today that the greatest opportunities we have is through failure. When we fail, there are always repercussions, but we know what we did wrong, and that will help us succeed in the future. Often we make the mistake of thinking the world will end when we fail. But to tell the truth, many of our most successful entrepreneurs had long histories of failure, before succeeding. Success and failure are related to each other, much in the same way that light and dark are. This we would do well to remember in all our endeavors.

But, I digress. How this relates to me personally and BDSM in particular comes from the failures I have had in the past with relationships with others. I have failed to be a good Dom in the past. I have failed to follow up on actions I have promised. I have failed to know what expectations submissives have. With each failure though, I learned something. I learned to manage the information flow so I read each and every email that comes in, not have a journal that I look at periodically. That isn’t how I work. I learned the importance of a collar in a relationship, by not bringing one to my first slave. I learned, and I grew.

But each time I failed, there were prices to be paid. I lost relationships with people, hell I hurt people. But the world did not come crashing to an end. I survived, and frankly I got to be a much better Master because of the failures I have experienced in the past. That is truth.

What failures have you had? Did they make you a better Dominant? A better person? Or did you succumb to failure? Did you wallow in self pity? Let me know, in the comments.


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