Where Will Master Void Be?

Just a quickie today.  Thought I would mention the classes I will be teaching that are coming up this month.

The first is for T3WD in Columbia.  They have their vendor fair next weekend (the 18th), and I will be talking about how to manage a long distance relationship. Since esclave and I have been doing this for over 3 years now, I think we have some tips to share that might be interesting to you.

The next is the following weekend.  In association with the Leadership Network of the Carolinas, I will be presenting a class on IT for kinksters with Auburn Goddess. It should be a blast as well. My part of the class will be focused on how to set up a domain, website and other things that you might want to use as a kinkster to manage your online presence.

How not to negotiate: I will not be in a long distance relationship

I am going to attempt to write this and hopefully it won’t come across as sounding full of regret.

When I met Master I was in a relationship with someone who was on the other side of US in the Pacific Northwest.  This relationship was really hard as I am the type of person who needs regular physical contact.  I am not much of a talker but physical contact gives me energy.   I like to snuggle and give random hugs and kisses and just touch a hand.   Also, I like to have sex with someone over having sex alone.  The interaction and energy exchange from bodies touching.  I like seeing the pleasure on my Master’s, seeing his body flushed from excitement, kissing his lips while we exchange breath.  Sinking into one another…his pleasure is my pleasure.

So having someone hours and hours away I realize is not good for me.    Besides that’s how relationship were supposed to be to me.  So after my relationship broke up while I was talking with Master I said I cannot do a long distance relationship.  Our goals included me moving to be closer to him which is why I continued to get to know him.  So a year after my collaring I  was supposed to move to be with him.

But, life got in the way big time.  Master and I met right around the time the financial and housing industry was exploding and the hardest areas hit were the areas where he lived.  Unemployment sky rocketed all over and jobs were non-existent.  So my moving with my family down there was put on hold and unfortunately, neither one of us knew when stuff would change.

So here I am in an unintentional long distance relationship.  The difference with this relationship is that we are in a relationship in which both of us are determined for it to work.  One thing that helps is that he is also here with me.   So we both have taken turns coming to see each other.  I can say that since we have been together we have seen each other every 5-6 weeks.  I think because of the distance we talk about everything and because we are in a M/s hierarchy it really forces me to continue to be open.   It has not been easy not being with him all the time but I think the times when we are together are much more special because of the distance.

My words of wisdom…never say never.  My view of a relationship was of two people being together 24/7 but relationships are engineered by the people involved in them.  They should not be defined by others ideas.

MV’s esclave

LeatherFET or How to Fail at Organizing a Community Uniting Event.

Charlotte Pano by James Willamor. Used under Creative Commons License, click for details.

What I write today is simply an opinion, my opinion.  I derived my opinion from my experiences in the local community.  I welcome all feed back and critiques.

LeatherFET was a fascinating event concept. Unite both the leather communities and the fetish communities for a party that would rock Charlotte all weekend.  Have good history and education track. Invite John Baku down for the keynote. Sounds wonderful. Can’t fail right?

Hmm, let us see what someone can do to make it fail. Let us take someone who has threatened to take the board of directors for a local BDSM education organization to court, left threatening voicemails that target a board member, her child and husband, and lost her sash and put them in charge of the whole event.  Put in charge of education someone who continually feels compelled to apologize to the community for her outbursts. Sell the event as an annual event even though it never happened before.

And belittle those who object to the leaders of the event as not supporting community building.

Yep the perfect way to have an event fail in my opinion. Most of the established community in Charlotte won’t be attending, I know I am with them. And I hope you won’t be either.

While I think the idea is a wonderful one, one I wish I could support. But in order to build connections in the community you have to have the respect of those in the community. I don’t have respect any longer for those associated with the event. One is known for the company we keep. And I choose to keep away.

If you want to read someone else’s opinion about the latest events in the Charlotte kink community, click here. (FetLife Membership required).

Peace.

MV

Kinky Steampunk Death-Ray Vibrators from the Sky!

Not the Lady Clankington Vibrator. Used under Creative Commons license. Click on image for details.

Ok, so steampunk amuses me. I like the idea of gears and steam and oil. The look of bronze and brass polished and shining. So when I stumbled across Lady Clankington’s Cabinet of Carnal Curiosities, I was very much interested. I was expecting the normal level of  build quality.  Something like this.

Sadly, the pictures of the items on the site don’t live up to my expectations. Basically it is a modern vibrator, wrapped in a sub-par case.  Personally, I wouldn’t buy on based on what I saw.  But it does look interesting.  Perhaps if it lines were smoother, a bit more attention paid to the details. Something that looked more artsy.

But as it is, it isn’t worth my cash.

How Not to Negotiate: Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the Bottom

Girl, what you are doing is “topping from the bottom”.     I have no desire to be in control of this relationship so why would Sir say that I am topping from the bottom.   What exactly does it mean to Top from the bottom?

I saw this definition from the Society of Janus webpage:

The term “topping from the bottom,” sometimes called “topping from below,” refers to a submissive/bottom’s attempt to exert control in a consensual power exchange dynamic in which that individual has ostensibly surrendered their control.

This does not describe me at all.  I do not do things to exert control in my relationship with Sir.  I mean there are something’s that I don’t tell him because he does not need to know.  I mean there are something’s that where the kids are concerned I am responsible for so he does not need to know.  These are things that I need to continue to have control over as they are still my responsibility.  So when something happens I didn’t mention it, not to try to control my submission to him but because I still am responsible for them.

So all of those things I just wrote I realize have run contrary to my submission to my Master and how my habit of actually topping from the bottom snuck in.  It was not in an overt way but kinda like how a leaky bathroom can wear down the floor…overtime and before you know you have a warped floor.   Just a little bit I would hold onto because you know, I was responsible for them.  So when he would ask me how the kids,  I’d say fine or maybe tell him a bit of what was going on because well he told me those were still my responsibility. Drip, drip, drip…

These are the words that I said to Master during our ceremony:

“MasterVoid: “Repeat after me. I, once named Rxxxxxx Gxxxxxx…

Esclave repeats this.

Master Void: “Herewith submit myself, completely and totally, in all things.”

Esclave repeats this.

Master Void: “ To him who is known as Jxxxxx Pxxxxxx, Master Void, of the House of Void…”

Esclave repeats this.

Master Void: “His girl, his slave, an article of his property, his to do with as he pleases.”

See I said I would submit myself to him in all things completely and totally.  There was no wording that would imply “only under certain circumstances and in some instances”.

I lost sight of that in those things that Master has allowed me to retain ownership over.  I did not understand that even though those are still my responsibility to handle I am still his slave.  Total submission complete in all things.

I was giving him only parts of me under the guise of totally submission.  I realized that when Master said to me that it will still be my responsibility to take care of my children I saw this as him separating from me and only wanting part of me.  Master is like the voice in my ear where my children are concerned there but not overtly so.  I’m slow to learn sometimes and this has taken me three years to realize that this is at the root of a problem that I have been struggling with since Master and I met. I understand that when I am not submitting everything to Master (fears, joys, tears, struggles, successes, kids, house) I am not being fully submitted.

My words of learning:  submission takes time and it is more than a one-time thing.  Communication is essential not just from the Master but from the slave.

History of Sex Dolls

I wanted to do something lighter today, so I present you the info graphic history of the sex doll. Enjoy!!

Sex Dolls
Via: Medical Insurance

MV