Attend BlackBEAT For Free This Year

6 01 2009

Here are the details:

Essay Contest & Scholarship
Never attended a Black BEAT Conference?
Playful Fashions, proudly announces it’s second Essay Contest Scholarship for one creative person to attend Black BEAT 09!  The winner will receive a general registration scholarship/package ( $150 value) to attend Black BEAT 09’s Caribbean Theme Conference, August 13-16 in Maryland.
Travel, Lodging, Ground Transportation, and all other “add on’s” are not included in the general registration package. The scholarship prize is non transferable and not redeemable for cash. To give back to our community, the winner must also volunteer  4 hours at the conference.
To Apply:
  • Applicants must be a first time attendee and able to attend the conference- August 13-16 in Maryland.
  • Must be 21 years of age or older.
  • Essays must be received on or before March 1, 2009
  • Applicants must write a 400 word essay regarding why you desire to attend Black BEAT 09. (Example: Your kink experience, lifestyle self exploration, etc.)
  • Winner must volunteer 4 hours at Black BEAT Conference
  • Essay submission are to be sent to by the due date. Be sure to put in the SUBJECT Line: Playful Fashions Essay Contest
  • Must include screen name, legal name, and email address with your entry.

If you have any questions, please feel to contact us at

Good Luck


25 08 2008

I learned a new word while spending time with Sir this past week.

Placate:  to appease or pacify, esp. by concessions or conciliatory gestures.

Sir and i were at the AfterGlow event that just closed our experience at BlackBEAT quite nicely.  Sir had mentioned that we would stay for a collaring ceremony which I was happy about because I had never seen a collaring before.  The collaring ceremony was going to start later than expected and Sir came over to me and started to tell me about the change to our plans.  I knew he had a long drive back so instead of letting him finish expressing his thoughts to me, I interrupted him and said it’s okay Sir we can leave whenever you are ready I don’t mind.   That did not go over well and his swift response pointed that out to me. 

I without realizing was trying to placate him.  In my relationship with my ex-husband I would do whatever I could to keep him with me to make him happy at the expense of myself.   I realized that I was doing the same with Sir. That I was trying to show him that I can be pliable and agreeing so that he wouldn’t think that being with me would be such a chore.

You know what that does, it devalues him as a responsible, thinking, caring man.  When I do that to Sir I basically treat him like a little child who does not know nor control his own emotions.    This is not the man I chose to be my Sir.  This is not the man I chose to be a positive influence for my children.   Someone said to me while I was at BlackBEAT that by my not listening or letting Sir finish his thoughts I could quite possibly miss something very important.

So what I have done now that I realized my desire to placate him, I have stopped, mindfully.  I am more aware of my not having to say anything when Sir says something to me.  I am not required to placate him or to fill his head with endless compliments or encouragements.  Before I speak Sir tells me to count to 3 which gives me time to not respond or to respond appropriately.

You know, the more that I am with Sir, the more that I appreciate myself with him.


BlackBEAT 08 Keynote by Mistress Max Rulz

23 08 2008

At BlackBEAT this year we had an amazing keynote address from Mistress Max Rulz.  I am reposting it here with permission in its entirety. You can read more about her here. I have been informed this link was no longer current.

The answer to the question can we all just get along? Is no!

Most of you would say the answer is no

I remember when i first said i wanted to do this speech, the response i got was —— omg if i have to listen to another we should be united speech i am going to throw up. Some of you may feel the same—admit it!

I had to think about that too. I have listened to too many unity in the community public love letters as well; at least that’s what i call them. I thought to myself lord what have i gotten myself into? Now, i have given a lot of thought to this over the last year. Read the rest of this entry »

Family Reunion

19 08 2008

Sir and I are back from attending my second and his fifth BlackBEAT.  This was our first as a couple and it was wonderful.  We got there very early Thursday morning (2:30am) and Sir was exhausted.  Such an awesome man he is, drove all the way from his home to the event and back again (7 hours each way).

We had such a wonderful time being with family because that is what it felt like…family.   An awesome woman (Mistress Max Rulz) gave our keynote speech for this meeting and she said that we should consider ourselves part of a family.  Which meant to me that we may not accept or even approve of everything each of us does in this lifestyle but just like a family we love each other anyway.  

I had an awesome time serving Sir and just being with him.  I have learned that my time with him need not be rushed with me acting like the perfect slave.  There is no need for me to rush this process of us becoming Master and slave as this is an ongoing life process. 

It was very grounding for me to meet others who live this style of their lives and to make connections in some way with many.  Before Sir and I left to come home we stopped over at one final gathering and had the chance to relax before saying goodbye to our friends.  I couldn’t help but cry at the comfort and acceptance i felt there.  We were all sitting around on the front porch laughing and joking and reliving moments at BlackBEAT.  It was just like a family reunion.

If you want to attend a lifestyle event I say save up and attend BlackBEAT 09, I promise you it will be worth it.

Comments are always welcome.

Back from BlackBEAT and Some Thoughts

19 08 2008

My girl and myself returned home from BlackBEAT yesterday, and spent some time together decompressing.  We left late Sunday, after delaying our departure to witness a beautiful collaring ceremony. It is good to see such things, if you get a chance to witness one, I reccomend that you do.

After returning from this conference, I am always recharged, reinvigorated (though not as much as last year, but I met my girl there last year). What I take a way from BlackBEAT this year is a focus on ettiquette and ethics in the Lifestyle.  Expect to see some writings and postings on this topic in the near future.  (And not just the stuff in the dungeon, but what to do when meeting other dominants (not dominates damnit) and submissives at events (munches, meetings, and confrences).

Please write your thoughts in the comments.


Greetings from BlackBEAT ’08

14 08 2008

I arrived late last night at the hotel and got myself and esclave checked in.  It was nice to be with her and this was the longest we have been in a car together since we met. We spend the long drive here listening to John Hodgeman and getting used to each other again.  It can be difficult at times managing a relationship over such a distance, but we manage.

Today will be spent renewing old friendships, watching girl iron my clothes and get ready for the weekend’s events.  Then the blur of the weekend will be upon us. It should be a fantastic time.


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