I like infographics. They are neat and colorful and easy to read. Simple too. And usually I can embed it here, but this one, well he wasn’t so considerate. But take a second and go to this link and read up on masturbation, I think you will enjoy it.
MV
“It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one’s thoughts…” Isabel Colegate
I am pretty sure that I have written about this topic many times before but this for me is not just a one time thing it is constant and conscious. I envision my being a slave to Master like a crystal. I am being molded into a shape that is pleasing to him but I still contain all the different aspects of me. This is how I think of my surrender to Master.
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I am just not sure how to start this. So I am just going to start typing and hopefully this will be clear and in some kind of order.
This past March I went down to visit my Master. The minute I got there he grabbed my tits in that excruciating way that he does. Sort of like a squeeze and twist sort of technique and my piercings add something extra special. Trust me…hurts like heck. Totally puts me in a different head space. Afterwards he bought out the dreaded stun gun…i HATE that thing. He hit me with it twice. As I am sitting there with him on the floor he gets some rope, dumps it on me and ties me up…nice 🙂 He then puts clips on my breasts and then directly on my nipples. Did I mention that my nipples are pierced and that having clips on them hurts really, really bad…lol He puts them directly on my nipples and then pulls them off. This was done several times to the point where my nipple started to bleed.
Usually after intense play, I just need a blanket and a quiet place by myself. I don’t usually like it when people touch me or even speak to me after intense play as I need to “collect” myself. I feel that touching me and caring for me after you have hurt me is too vulnerable a place for me. So I don’t do it. Not with anyone. To appear weak and vulnerable is not something that I can do easily. There has been no place in my life for this.
This last time with Master however, I wanted after care. As I was sitting in my corner, I kept asking myself why am I deliberately being alone. I wanted him to hold me and let me cry in his arms. I wanted him to smooth my face and reassure me that he loves me and will always be there. I just could not bring myself to ask him even though I wanted to beg him to just sit near me. That was a wow moment for me.
I didn’t realize that this was another wall I had built up to protect myself. Emotional pain is worse than physical pain. I have had a lot of emotional pain. I can endure physical pain, scars heal, endorphins kick in, life is good. But residual emotional pain affects many parts of me. I realize it now.
So here is me shedding light on this part of me and surrendering further to my Master.
Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) is SPRING.
my thoughts… are on moving in with Master. I think I am stressing out so much in the hopes that Master and the kids will be happy that I am being useless. I feel like I need to make sure that they (Master and the kids) are happy so that my being happy doesn’t seem so selfish. Sigh no more thinking that way…it’s useless and defeating.
Today’s Quote: Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don’t.
Brett Butler, ‘Knee Deep in Paradise’
I so feel this quote at the moment.
i am thankful for…being able to live this dream no matter how unsettling it makes me feel. I’m alive and it’s real
From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) Nothing new at the moment
From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) Nothing unusual this week. It’s spring cleaning time around here. So that means leftovers from the fridge all week.
i am wearing…Black T-shirt and Baby Blue SHORTS 😀
i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) Nothing new at the moment
my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) spring cleaning inside the house. I am tired of seeing grey
Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) I am listening to an audible scifi book Master recommended. “Judas Unchained”, Peter F. Hamilton. This is part 2 of Pandora’s Star.
i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Contentment
Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) Is It The Way….You Love….Me Baby… “The Way” by Jill Scott
One of my favorite things…is running in the sun …not too much heat though
further plans for this week…House cleaning and seeing my friend for brunch.
Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you) Photo used with permission from:
http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=220722&s=1#top
http://www.sxc.hu/info.phtml?f=help&s=8_2
Want to start something different. Here are the directions:
Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.
Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well! www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com
So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 🙂
I wanted to take a minute and talk about safety in BDSM. One of the easiest things you can do to enhance the safety of a scene is to take a first aid/CPR class. They are offered quite regularly. Some public dungeons or clubs offer discount or even free classes. Take them. It can save a life.
Now I am not going to say you have to be current. I had one a few years ago, but it has lapsed. I do think that periodically you need a refresher. Things change. We learn newer and better ways to keep people alive. Subs too. You never know when you may have to give mouth to mouth to your Dom.
So tomorrow, I am headed up to Greensboro to spend the day getting re-certified. Now you go and do as I do.
MV
I saw this today, and I thought I would pass it along. From the NCSF website.
Action Alert – Take Action Californians!
Our BDSM communities could be adversely impacted by a well-intentioned, but overly broad, piece of proposed criminal legislation that has been introduced by Senator Christine Kehoe in the California Senate. NCSF is asking all of you to sign and send to NCSF letters (a draft is attached below) that we can introduce if necessary at a hearing likely to be held in April, 2011.
The purpose of the bill, SB 430, is to permit effective prosecution of strangulation or suffocation “in domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse and elder abuse cases.” But the bill’s application could go far beyond those situations and result in felony prosecutions for use of hoods, gags and the like in BDSM play. There would be no requirement of “an intent to kill or injure,” or of “visible injuries,” and there is no mention of consent as a defense.
NCSF has been in touch with Senator Kehoe’s staff, which has seemed sympathetic, and has proposed modifications of the bill’s language that would address our concerns. Now we need to follow up by presenting at the hearing as many letters as possible that support the goal of prosecuting domestic violence, but only if language is inserted that protects our communities.
We urge you to sign the attached letter, modified as you see fit, and send it back to NCSF.
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
822 Guilford Avenue, Box 127
Baltimore, MD 21202-3707
Dear NCSF:
I fully support the worthy goal of Senator Kehoe’s proposed legislation, to ensure that strangulation and suffocation can be effectively prosecuted in cases of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse and elder abuse. But I am very concerned that SB 430 as now worded might be used to prosecute elements of non-harmful, consensual BDSM (Bondage, Domination/submission, Sadomasochism) activity between adults, such as the use of gags or hoods. This could subject millions of tax paying, law-abiding Americans to criminal prosecution, merely for engaging in erotic, mutually pleasurable conduct.
Therefore I and thousands of other Californians would be able to support this otherwise valuable legislation only if it is modified by specifically excluding non-assault activities.
I join you in urging Senator Kehoe to incorporate in this bill the language NCSF has proposed.
Sincerely,
Your Name
Your Address (with ZIP CODE)
Date
Take action that you feel appropriate.
MV
Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) a sort of gray but warm day. Feels more springy then it has in a long while. Hopefully this means spring has sprung 😀
my thoughts… are on my son and ways to help him. He has always been a quiet kid but this year seems to be especially hard for him. So with everything going on with the house and move I have been thinking and acting on this more.
Today’s Quote:
i am thankful for…freedom from the inaction of my fears
From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) Nothing new at the moment
From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) Spaghetti with ground turkey, pork chops, vegetables, baked chicken
i am wearing…blue jeans and a grey shirt
i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) —–
my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) more spring cleaning
Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) I am listening to an audible scifi book Master recommended. “Pandora’s Star”, Peter F. Hamilton – still listening to this story. It is about 30 hours longs
i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) wise decisions.
Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) no tunes today…i have a bit of a headache
One of my favorite things…is eating barbeque chips and drinking iced tea. mmmm salty and sweet.
further plans for this week…no unusual plans this week. Seeing my grandson and having my weekly brunch with my g/f.
Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you) Photo used with permission from:
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/
http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=8989191
My future is as bright as I envision it 🙂
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Want to start something different. Here are the directions:
Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.
Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well! www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com
So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 
The House of Void 