Marriage and M/s – After the marriage

28 02 2011

I figured it was time for me to update my thoughts on marriage and slavery now that I am married to my Master.   This has been another learning moment for me and I am greatful for Master being my Master and not acquiescing and being my husband.

My Master and I got married in November of 2010. This is my joy and my dilemma.

Since we have been married I have found that this has been causing major issues for me. It seems that my mindset went to wife. I saw my marriage to Master as being married to my husband. Which put me on equal footing. I started dropping my protocols in terms of speaking and behavior, making decisions on which rules I would follow and really not being my Master’s slave.

The thing that bought it in to focus for me was when I told my Master that I decided that I didn’t need to meditate anymore as I saw no more need for it. I told him in such a way that it should no big deal and that he should be perfectly okay with this. Even though this has been his rule for me since we met. This is not about me meditating or my seeing the need to meditate this is about following my Master’s rule.

That was a severe heart wrenching ouchy moment for me. Things are getting better, slowly and more mindful and i have not doubt we will be stronger for it

Anyone else have issues with being married and being a slave?

MV’s esclave

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4 responses

1 03 2011
kajiradreams

Oh I really feel for you.
Master has said that we will be getting married this year and one of my huge fears is what you are going through right now.

I hope it works, but I have begged Master to re collar me after the wedding – maybe not the same day, but very soon after. He has thankfully agreed that it may be a good idea, and that we may have some sort of ceremony with a few very close friends who are aware of our lifestyle there.

I/we are hoping that in this way, although i probably won’t be able to help but have the mind shift from slave to wife with the wedding. At least something can be done to help put me back in slave mindset – also. we see it as a renewing of our commitment as Master and slave that supersedes and fully encompasses the whole husband/wife thing. It and we are MORE than husband and wife, he OWNS me.

we hope by reinforcing that – and purposely after the wedding, it will bring us back on track before too much back peddling has to be done!

*grins* having said that – we are not quite there yet….. the fiancé visa is still pending lol!
Good luck, and please let me know how you go on… This is a real fear of mine. xx

1 03 2011
mastersangel

I struggle with this everyday. I even went through a period where I thought I could no longer be his slave. We have only been married for a year and a half so I don’t know if things get easier to balance over time. I have realized I have to be very mindful of my behavior to not slip too far into wife mode instead of slave. Good luck finding your balance.

5 03 2011
mvs1esclave

@Kajiradreams…thank you for commenting. 🙂 I really appreciate it when others share through commenting.

Let me say…congratulations on your upcoming marriage to your Master 🙂 So very happy for you both and that you will be together soon :))

I think what is making the difference in my continued submission to Master and what I see from your post is our desire to continue to be our Master’s slaves.

I am dedicated and committed to learning from this experience as a way to strengthen our relationship and acknowledging this issue only helps me really deal with it and not “save it for later” so that I can let it go. My life is complete being his slave, the wife is just extra.

Please feel free to come back and let me know how it is going with you and your Master.

5 03 2011
mvs1esclave

@MastersAngel…thank you as well for commenting. I find I learn so much through others comments.

You said, “I have realized I have to be very mindful of my behavior to not slip too far into wife mode instead of slave.”

This is so very true. Being mindful…that is the key. I find when I am not really “present” then I am just going through the motions.

I believe that things will get easier…being open to the struggles and accepting help will make a big difference with this.

I think we will both find our balance….luck not necessary. 🙂

Please feel free to come back and let me know how you are doing and what successes you have had in finding your balance.

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