Watching What One Says

29 01 2011

I was browsing across a conversation on FetLife which did not go the way the original poster (OP in Fet language) had anticipated. The content of the message isn’t important to what I have to say. What I have to say is this. When you have a thread that doesn’t go the way you want, you have two choices.  You can accept it. Or you can rave like a maniac.  Guess which he did? Guess how it turned out?

When you are a leader (and this “gentleman” was both a dominant and a leader of a TNG group), then you have to hold yourself accountable for your actions. You must think before you react.

And don’t be juvenile if you don’t always get what you want.

MV





Definitions: Dom Vs. Master; Round 1

26 01 2011

I have been seeing a few discussions on FetLife where people are wondering what the differences are between a Dominant and a Master. In many ways, there isn’t a lot of a difference, in others there are whole worlds of differences. First, I do want to make clear that these are my opinions and not those of anyone else, necessarily. While I think they are reasoned and well thought out, you may think it is total crap. Frankly, I am ok with that. We each need to come to our own understanding of what these terms mean, but I think it is a good idea to have a basic shared understanding of what words mean so that we can communicate with each other.

That said, I think that in common usage there is a bit of overlap between the two words. They both are used to indicate that the person enjoys playing with a bit of control with their partner. Both like feeling in charge.  The world of BDSM has no clear lines, only fuzzy borders where worlds blend. Some Dominants and Masters are not much different than a vanilla lover who likes a “traditional” relationship. Well, at least in a traditionally male dominant relationship.

If BDSM is a spectrum that starts with vanilla on one end, and full time 24/7 human ownership on the other, Dominants fall in the broad range in the middle. They make up the largest numbers of our community, and range from casual bedroom only situations to full time play partners. I have found though, that they generally are less focused on formal BDSM, although there are definitely exceptions. I think that most of use start in this area, and stay there as it meets our needs. However, some choose a different path and focus more on the controlling aspects and formality of BDSM. Play and control play large parts in their relationships, but play usually has a slight, but definite, edge. Dominants tend to play with subs too.

Thus we come to the term Master.  Really it means two things. Some use it to refer to those that have spent a life time in the community and have earned the respect of their peers. Others are those that own slaves, or human property. They tend to take the lifestyle more seriously. They may develop household manuals, complicated rituals and are more focused on the controlling aspects of a relationship, though play is an important part of their relationship.

Really, neither is better than the other. I know plenty of dominants who take the lifestyle seriously. Focus on rules and rituals. But, I think they are an exception rather than the rule.

What really matters though, is how you live your life, not the terms you use. As the Bard said, “Would not a rose by another name spell as sweet?”

What are your thoughts on this?  I would love to hear about them in the comments.

MV





Service Book of Days 1/24/11

24 01 2011

v Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) is a cold and brisk night.  The temperature is -2 below…brrrr

 

 

v my thoughts… are many.  I spent time with my Master and realized that there was so many things I need to learn in order to serve him better.

 

v Today’s Quote:  

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Emo Phillips US comedian
Somedays I wish I was still in the leather straps

 

 

v i am thankful for…Mondays…new starts

 

 

v From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) learning more about the leather lifestyle.

 

 

v From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?)  Healthy cooking of the foods we love to eat

 

 

v i am wearing…Wearing my work out clothes from my time at the gym tonight

 

 

v i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) Nothing new at the moment

 

 

v my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  Nothing this week.  But I am planning some trips to take my daughter around to boarding schools.

 

 

v Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) No books this week.   But I am looking for something good to read. I am open to anything so please feel free to add any suggestions.

 

v i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week)  Life to the full.

 

 

v Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) “Despicable Me” by Pharrell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axbUCR1nKRA
This was really a great story with a really good story line.  Check it out…great family story.

 

v One of my favorite things…is to lay my head on Master’s chest and listen to him breathe…sighs  It was such a great time spending and being with him.  Packing and planning.

 

 

v further plans for this week…Nothing this week.   Keeping it close to home.

 

 

v Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=27952

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to start something different.  Here are the directions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!   www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 🙂

 





Service Book of Days 1/17/11

17 01 2011

v Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) is snow.  I sometimes think I have been in a fog since September and am just now waking up.  Seeing the snow as I was out today really surprised me

v my thoughts… are on other worlds.  This reality is not holding me.  Thank God for Master being my anchor.

v Today’s Quote: Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

Edgar Allan Poe“Eleonora”
US short story author, editor, & poet (1809 – 1849)

v i am thankful for…the ability to work out.  I have a disk that presses against my sciatic nerve and there are times when I can feel the pain while walking or moving around.

v From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week)  nothing new at the momen

v From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) preparing foods in advance for the kids to cook before I get home.

v i am wearing…a black top and blue jeans with sparklies on them J

v i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) Nothing new at the moment

v my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  I will be going to visit with Master this week yay…but this time it will be with an eye towards us moving in with him this year J

v Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) Just finished listening to UR by Stephen King.  The concept of this book was dealing with alternate universes.

v i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week)  Reality in this plane of existence.

v Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) I was watching “Despicable Me” with my grandson this weekend. I loved the theme song so I bought it and have been listening to it.  Despicable Me by Pharell.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axbUCR1nKRA

v One of my favorite things…is talking with Master before we both go to bed

v further plans for this week…Going to see Master this weekend J

v Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)

Want to start something different.  Here are the directions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!   www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 🙂





A Video

5 01 2011

Enjoy!

MV





2010 in review

2 01 2011

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The average container ship can carry about 4,500 containers. This blog was viewed about 22,000 times in 2010. If each view were a shipping container, your blog would have filled about 5 fully loaded ships.

 

In 2010, there were 103 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 433 posts. There were 51 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 23mb. That’s about 4 pictures per month.

The busiest day of the year was January 6th with 337 views. The most popular post that day was Photos from the Ceremony!.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were fetlife.com, en.wordpress.com, 43things.com, google.com, and search.aol.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for slave silks, fetlife review, slave training, bondage tutorial, and collaring ceremony.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Photos from the Ceremony! January 2009
3 comments

2

Florentine Flogging August 2008
3 comments

3

Gor Links July 2009
1 comment

4

FETLIFE: A Review. September 2008
10 comments

5

Looking for Slave Silks? December 2008








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