Totem – Spiders

12 09 2011

I can’t say that I have any particular love for spiders.  I have this thing about creepy crawlies.  The thing is I don’t like them…lol  There is something about having a bug  with that many arms and legs touch me that just gives me shivers.

It seems that the universe is  telling me different though.

It is said that the spider is the weaver of dreams.  That the spider’s web holds life together, meaning it shows us how connected we are to the each other.  The web connects our past with our present and teaches us to not forget our Creator.

I have been doing some research on spiders and came across these two websites:


When I first just slept together (no euphemism for sex, lol,  we actually just slept together) I had a dream about being caught in the most intricate and colorful spider’s web I have every seen.  Instead of a smooth circular pattern it was built in the design of the pentagon (hard angles).   Even the spider was in this design.  So every time I would try and break this web down to get away the spider would build it back quickly even before I could move forward.  It was really fascinating to see.  It was like the spider was saying to me that this was my point of staying.   That no matter how much I try this space was my space.


The second time my spider appeared in my dreams was the night I realized that I did not have to go home that I was with Master for good now.  This was a weird one though.  An eagle and a bear was trapped in the spider’s web.  When the eagle would try and break free of the spider’s web the spider would spin an even more intricate web to keep them trapped.  It was beautiful.

That for me was my next sign that being in Master’s house was were I needed to be.

Incidentally my fear of creepy crawlies does not include most spider’s anymore…lol  Most spider’s not all…lol



Service Book of Days 10/6/09

6 10 2009
  • Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) you know, I work in a very scenic office building out in the suburbs. Beautiful grounds…all the buildings are designed to fit the surroundings and not over take them. In the winter it is absolutely gorgeous to see the snow falling. Somehow my office building has a cozy feeling to it 🙂
  • my thoughts…are about trying to regain my equilibrium A few things happened a couple of weeks ago that almost made me go back into my hidey whole but I am refusing to do that so I am getting back into action.
  • Today’s Quote…  “Don’t follow your dreams, Chase them”, Richard Dumb.
    I am going to follow my dream of being with Master.  Of changing my kids environment and being happy.
  • i am thankful for…always my family, all my moments – good and bad. I know I keep saying this but these are the things that I am most thankful for…everything else is just gravy, as the saying goes.
  • From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week)
  • From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) I am going to make something non-exotic for dinner for my new meal. The kids have told me they need something edible…lol So I am going to roast a chicken but marinade it in a ginger sauce. I am going to cut up and roast some squash for the vegetables. Simple but different 🙂
  • i am wearing…my stinky workout clothes. Oh man, I can’t wait to take a shower and feel all smooth and clean again.
  • i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) nothing new at the moment
  • my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) No adventures this weekend. I am going to continue to do stuff around my house. Still trying to prepare my house for selling. 🙂
  • Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?)…Nothing this week, but thinking about ordering The Fountainhead by Ayne Rand. I keep hearing stuff about this book and I want to listen to it myself.
  • i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children. I pray for the people around us to not take their life for granted.
  • Todays Melody..(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) Someone posted a song on their fetlife page that I just love the words to. It is Mary J’s song “You’re All I Need”

Here are some of the words:

Like a sweet morning dew
I took on look at you
And it was plain to see
You were my destiny

  • One of my favorite things…Sing. I am just an undiscovered voice waiting for the producer to hear my voice as I ride the train. Well that is what I tell myself when it is probably more like the people on the train grumbling for me to be quiet…LOL
  • further plans for this week…housecleaning/clearing. Continuing my workout plan. Fixing up my house.
  • Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)

fish and woman

You know I was surfing the site Master gave me to look for pictures that I can use without breaking any copy right laws and such and I saw this picture on the front page.  I was looking  for pictures of nice bright and shiny things that make me feel giggly inside.  But I just kept coming back to this picture.

You know with the move and stuff I feel really scared.  I am basically changing my comforting surroundings for a place unknown.  Starting new.  Looking at this picture, the words that came to my mind were:

Sometimes you just have to eat the whole thing.

I am going to prepare as well as I can for the move but there will come a time soon when I just have to do it.


Photo used by Creative Commons:

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