I give up

3 10 2011

Life is a risk.   Diane Von Furstenberg

I was speaking with Master about something yesterday.  I said to him during the conversation that things will change or I’ll give up.

That phrase “give up” has been wandering around in my mind a lot.

In the past that phrase would have meant me getting things in order physically, mentally, and emotionally so that I can leave.  I would be shutting down and giving up the fight and getting ready to move on safe in the knowledge that I have done all that I could.  Such a self sacrificing martyr.

Thank God for lessons learned.

This time I am going to give u… but I am not leaving.  I am giving up my martyrdom though.  I am giving up “making” people happy (kids, family members,etc.).  I am giving up  this stress as it is causing my jaw to hurt and my body to be sick.

I can’t control everything that happens in this life but I can take the risk of living it truthfully and authentically.  Right now that means giving up those things that are not a part of my personal growth.

Like floating lanterns in the wind that’s how I am giving them up, they are not for me anymore.

 

MV’s esclave

 

 

 

 

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