I was going to post about how sometimes when Sir asks me a question i answer no. i call these my rhetorical no’s. they are not real “no’s” to what he asks of me because he knows that i will do what he asks anyway. i think though it is not so much that my no’s are rhetorical but that his questions are rhetorical…LOL
According to Wikipedia (i love this site by the way, you can find an answer to any question or query)…A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form of a question posed for rhetorical effect rather than to receive an answer.[1] Rhetorical questions encourage the listener to reflect on what the implied answer to the question must be.
When Sir asks me if i want to try a particular play (knife, needle) my response is no. He laughs and then says do you really mean no. I really don’t mean no. My no’s have nothing to do with my hard limits. My hard limits are his hard limits so I know that will never be an issue for us. As an aside i think it is essential that time is taken to get to really know the one that you are thinking about being submissive or slave to. I think everything needs to be talked about and that you leave nothing to chance. A persons basic personality does not change once a relationship is solidified. Compatibility is key. Anyway, as I was saying when i say no to Sir i don’t mean no i mean that i am afraid to try it. He understands this and adjusts accordingly. I trust Sir to not harm me, hurting me is a different story…LOL.
The House of Void 
I have to say, this is my favorite post. I’ve re-read it half a dozen times. It’s just so TRUE. And yet so easy to gloss over. No does not always mean no- but understanding the situation in which the no is given, THERE is the key.
If someone asks me to do something with an expectant attitude- I’m going to say no, and I’m going to mean it only because I cannot stand expectation (don’t EXPECT me to do ANYTHING, because you have no idea which direction I’ll bolt to show you how “wrong” and NOT in control you are). Come at me in a way that says “let’s try this TOGETHER”, and I’m far more apt to bend 🙂 My totem tree is the silver birch – a very bendy, strong, tree that fools the eye by looking flimsy and weak. However, bend those branches too fast, and they will break and splinter, and splinters hurt 😉