Update on S&M (pay) Club Fiasco

An update on the story:

A retired math teacher from Quebec survived near-fatal sex play at a midtown bondage club but couldn’t tell investigators how he was injured, law enforcement sources said Monday.

The 64-year-old thrill-seeker had been found turning blue, hanging in a dungeon room at the Nutcracker Suite on E. 33rd St. Friday morning.

Well the saga continues here.

*Update* Found another link here.

His wife, who declined to give her first name, said, “I thank God that my husband is still alive.”

She asked a reporter to tell her the full story, and when it was finished, she said, “Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe this.”

[Edited] was taken to the hospital at 1:25 a.m. Friday after he choked and turned blue while wearing a hood and being trussed up in an S&M contraption called “the wheel” at the Nutcracker Suite, a pain palace on East 33rd Street.

A Thought From the Past

I wrote this many years ago, but I thought I would revise it a bit and post it here. I hope you find it useful.

THE MOST IMPORTANT CONCEPT

I have for the longest time been of the belief that if we as a group or even as an individual do not make judgments as to what is most important in the lifestyle to us, then we are shorting ourselves, our lovers, and our friends. By discussing our concepts with each other, we define them and we refine them. This is a good way to sort the wheat from the chaff, as it were. So I write this brief article in the hope that we can discuss this, and all benefit from it.

We have all met a new person in a chat room or in real life. They approach us, or we them, and then we have had to decide (consciously or unconsciously) what will be the first thing we told them. In the past, I know I have not given much consideration to this issue. I am writing this to sort out my own thoughts and, if you do the same, then hopefully we all will be more prepared the next time we meet someone new.

Here is my take on this question of what is the most important concept for a new person to know. When I think of this, I want to covey an understanding to the novice that there are many different types of activities in BDSM. The acronym BDSM itself is an amalgam of many things. Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, even Domination and Submission are all a part of what we do. Some will appeal to you, some will not appeal to you, and some things might even scare you. Keep your mind open, there are things that you are not ready for now, but that may appeal to you later. There are things that your partner may want to try that you might find out that you like. However never, ever let someone talk you into doing something that you aren’t ready for; things that you really don’t want to do and are not prepared for. While we usually think about this applying mainly for submissives, I have found that this advice applies to Dom/me, top and bottom.

Over my years in the lifestyle, I have seen a Domme give a slave 3rd degree burns because she did something she wasn’t ready to do. Perhaps if she had taken a few moments to consider her skills, she would have realized she was not ready yet. Dominants risk their subs lives, health, and sanity, which is the most important thing that we are entrusted with when they are unprepared, ill advised, and improperly trained. Secondly they endanger their reputation, which while some might argue we should not even consider, is still an important thing for many of us. After all in the Lifestyle what do we have if not our reputations? We need our reputations to meet new subs, to prove that we know what we are doing to those around us, and to help guide others into the community.

That said, our dear submissives risk so much more than we do as Dominants. They risk their lives, their health, maybe even their sanity. I have seen subs that have been convinced to do things beyond what they were ready for; beyond what any sub should be asked to do. Some have been more fortunate than others. Some have been physically scarred. Some of them have been hospitalized, a few have even been driven from the lifestyle, one or two of them are no longer with us. Now most good dominants would never jeopardize their submissives like this, but we all make mistakes. Additionally there are predators out there that are all about causing harm. So submissives must be doubly concerned about that. By being prepared to not give into persuasion to do things that we are not ready for, we can resist temptation better as well.

Now, as I have said before in other places, expose yourself to new things just be careful. Take one of the online questionnaires for yourself. Figure out how you feel about the different activities detailed within. This act is probably the most practical thing a submissive or a dominant can do to prepare themselves for this lifestyle. Other things involve participating in online discussions, and when you are ready for it, going to real time gatherings, which are the best places to learn new things, and even practice them. Find a mentor or a teacher who can help you develop your skills.

To conclude this, I am saying be true to yourself. Do what you can handle and do not allow yourself to be pressured to do anything you do not really want to do, under any circumstances. I know that it is hard, but keeping this in mind will help you to understand the most important concept and that is to know yourself and what you are capable of doing based on research, learning, and practice.

 

 

 

Unknown man hospatilized after being suspeded at an (pay) S&M club.

Ok, in case you don’t know, you never leave anyone unattended if they are either tied up or hanging (of course if they think they are alone…..). For the full story click here.

An unidentified patron of a Midtown S&M club who was bound and suspended from a ceiling while wearing women’s high heels and a neck choker was hospitalized in critical condition Friday, police sources said.

While an accident is the most likely cause, police said they are investigating whether he was the victim of a crime. Officials said a preliminary check showed that the club is a legal business. One law enforcement source said this incident appeared to be an accident because the man apparently had consented to the treatment.

There was another link at the New York Post, but that link is dead now. I will try to follow up.

Ok I was stupid, you can find more details here.

He was also wearing nipple clamps, a dog collar and women’s high-heeled shoes, and his hands were cuffed behind his back, sources said.

The man was rushed to St. Vincent’s Hospital, where he was put on a respirator, sources said. It was believed he had suffered brain damage due to lack of oxygen.

She said that she checked on him every 20 minutes. At first, he was fine, but when she went in a second time, she found that his foot had slipped out of the shoe and was turning blue.

Growth

I was reminded today that one of the most important functions of a Master/Dominant is to allow our slaves and subs the chance to grow. They need safety, the need to feel protected, the need love.  Most of all they need to be pushed.  To go somewhere they weren’t comfortable before.  That is our role, that is our duty.  It is our most sacred task.

If you are not willing or able to do this, then you are just a wannabe.  We are here for each other, Masters and slaves, Dominants and subs.

Live, Love, Learn!

Cloak

In the Charlotte area, there is an African-American group that meets regularly. It is casual and friendly, though the intro process is a bit involved. I was one of the advisors to this group when they were forming. Every once and a while, they have a large event called Super Saturday. If you are interested, and local to the area look up Cloak.

High Heels Good for sex life.

Well all right. Now they are for more than looking good!

STILETTOS can be good for a woman’s sex life, says a study which claims wearing them “directly works the pleasure muscles linked to orgasm”.

Experts found the high heels toned women’s legs and strengthened pelvic muscles

In tests, Dr Maria Cerruto, of the University of Verona, Italy, discovered that wearing a pair
of ‘‘moderately high heeled shoes’’ had beneficial effects for a woman’s sex life.

‘‘Heels work the pelvic muscles and reduce the need to exercise them.

‘‘Wearing heels during daily activity may reduce the need for the pelvic floor exercises necessary
to keep that part of a woman’s anatomy toned and elastic,’’ Cerruto said.

Check out the whole article here.

%d bloggers like this: