An Update for the Lair

Thought I would share this with you:

Good evening. This is an update from The Lair/The Cell Block It is with regret the Directors wish to inform the Adult Lifestyle Community that “The Lair” is closed and will not be opened again in THAT location. W/we also wish to inform all of Y/you that this has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM or any of the other activities W/we engage in. It appears that owning items such as “whips, floggers, corset’s, cuffs and a neck enclosure” are considered “adult toys” and as The Lair owned such items, even if they were locked securely in the office. It was deemed by Zoning that we are just as “Adam and Eves and Pricilla’s“. Those items when combined with two or more people are considered “adult entertainment”. It does not matter if those items were O/ours personally, it did not matter if W/we never used them on anyone, Zoning would still consider them “adult toys”. Zoning in North Carolina also states, “adult entertainment cannot be within 500 foot of any establishment that houses children or ANY residential area. Due to this information the Directors regret to say we have no choice but to close The Lair. Additionally even though The Lair will reopen, in a different place, different time, different location, this will take time. The Directors of the Lair will be contacting all sponsors in the near future. If you have question please feel free to contact me personally behind the scenes. The Directors of The Lair/The Cell Block/A Personal Touch, wishes to thank the community for your outstanding support during the grand opening and the opening of the business above. As always you were wonderful. See A/all of you very soon. ~*mysty starr*~

I wish them luck in reopening.

MV

A site for your more prurient needs

Alright, I like a good porn story.  And I like a free story even better.  The Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository is a wonderful place I have been going to for years. I highly recommend it. There are almost always new posts every day. While the writing isn’t always the highest quality (and some of the stories frankly squick me), there is bound to be one there in the for over a decade’s worth of stories they have collected (they have some particularly good hardcore BDSM stuff there).  Check it out. Maybe even write your own.

MV

Kinky Karnival

Twisted Temptations is having their 3rd annal Kinky Karnaval May 31st.  They are advertising that they will have Demos, Vendors, BBQ, and a play party.  I have to say that kink and BBQ?  That is a good combination.  And KC knows how to do BBQ almost as well as we do in NC.  Cost is only $20 for singles and $35 for couples, so it seems like a good value.  I am not familiar with any of the presenters, but they do have a presentation on Protocols that sounds very interesting.

If you are familiar with this group or event, let us know about it in the comments.

MV

Another BDSM Related Death in the News

Yet again, don’t ever leave your sub alone. A Nashville woman is facing charges when the tied up her husband and gaged him, then left the house for a few hours. A video and the full story can be found here.

James Bargy was found dead in the Bargy’s bedroom on Saturday. Family members say James dressed himself in lingerie and asked his wife to tie his hands and feet behind his back.

Authorities say James Bargy suffocated and believe he was alone anywhere from twelve to twenty hours.

It always saddens me when I read these stories. Safety is very important.

MV

I found an AP video of the story:

“Playing”

The LA times has an interesting article on serious literature with a kinky bent.

Now, when whatever suits your fancy is easily found online, exploring intense or unusual sexuality has become the purview of commercial and even highbrow literary writers too. Tom Wolfe indulgently explored coed hookup culture in “I Am Charlotte Simmons.” Walter Mosley’s “sexistential novel,” “Killing Johnny Fry,” starts with sodomy and gets dirtier and darker from there. Later this year, Chuck Palahniuk will publish “Snuff,” about a female porn star’s attempt at a record for most sex partners in one day, partially told from the perspective of participant No. 600. Memoirists such as Catherine Millet and Toni Bentley aim at highbrow readers as they describe sex lives many wouldn’t dare imagine.

Sex writer and blogger Susie Bright, who has edited several anthologies of erotica, noted that — as fashion popularizes S&M-style clothing, sitcoms make graphic jokes about sex positions and novelists continue to mix elements of genre and literary writing — publishers have become open to printing books that take up sex.

“I don’t know if you can write literary fiction these days and pretend sex doesn’t exist,” Bright said

MV

Protocols pt. 1

I am a big fan of protocols in the lifestyle. I believe that protocols define a set of behaviors in a given situation. Protocols make the Dominant’s and submissive’s roles easier to manage and provide defined expectations for both roles. If I do not lay out clear instructions and directions for how my slave is supposed to behave, why would I punish her for failing to live up to my expectations. Frankly, I consider it my failing if she fails because I was not clear in my directions. Protocols provide this clarity for both parts.

Protocols should be organic for the Dominant. Protocols should be derived from natural expectations, not an artificial list gleaned from a Google search on the interwebtubes. The expectations I make for my slave are based on how I want to live, and how I expect her to behave.  While I may be inspired by many sources, both on- and off-line, I do not wish have our relationship defined by others. We make the definition by the way we live, my slave and I.

Frankly, I expect a Master to know his or her rules better than his slave does.  If he expects a slave to know a rule by a give number, why should he or she not be held to the same standard?

So, I will leave you with this thought at this point on protocols in the Lifestyle. If you are a Master or a Mistress I encourage you to examine your rules. Make sure that they fit your life. Are there rules you put in writing, but never use? Get rid of them.  And good riddance too.  Maybe there are new expectations you have for your slave.  Write them down, modify the rules.

MV