FetLife’s Dirty Little Secret

28 10 2013

FetLife has a secret. There are things it has not been telling you. There are things FetLife doesn’t want you to know about. Things FetLife has been strangely silent on. There are things there (some of which are allowed still by FetLife’s terms of use) that you cannot find.  When you search for these words, you won’t find Groups, Fetishes or even Users who have these words in their names or profile.  Some of these terms are understandable, some are not.

Strangely, even though there have been several posts on the FetLife tech support group about this, there has been no official response from FetLife or John Baku. We know this is deliberate, and not some sort of bug, because at one point you could search the terms using quote marks and then all of a sudden you couldn’t. We know these aren’t necessarily banned terms, because if you can find a user with them in their profile and click on them you can find them. And Hypnotism isn’t banned and returns results that include the banned terms.

Below is a list of terms compiled by a FetLife user named Snakeman. He did a lot of work (which I have’t done the research to verify, but you should be able to find out for yourself by clicking on the links.

Frankly some of this disturbs me deeply. FetLife used to be a safe place for kinksers to meet and discuss taboo topics.  I still think it is the best place to connect with other members of my community, but it seems it is no longer a place to discuss taboos.  I will be emailing John Baku for his official statement and to why there has been no official word as to why this has been kept quiet.

Traditions Forgotten

23 10 2013

There are a couple of items that have come to my attention that reminded me that we aren’t teaching the new people properly. So here are 2 things to keep in mind.

1) Keep it private.  By and large, people in this Lifestyle want to keep their privacy.  We tend to avoid full names (often just using an alias or a scene name). But one thing people forget is that it applies both in and outside of an event.  The privacy part that is.  Don’t go up to people you only know in the Scene and say “Hi” to them like you know them or you are their friends.  Just nod (or better still don’t nod), and move on.  You don’t know what they are doing in their life. who they are with, how they would have to explain they know you.  Just don’t do it.  Move along, nothing to see.

2) Scene etiquette 101. Don’t touch other peoples gear. Don’t touch other peoples property, Don’t get too close to a scene. Do’t talk too loud.  Do read this.

That is all for now.


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