I’m seeing something today that I find interesting. More and more I am seeing new people into the scene looking for sex. Pain and Sex. Control and Sex. Spankings and Sex. Bondage and Sex. Very different from the world I came of age in.
When I started out, I was directed to improve myself. Learn control. Learn how to manipulate the flash of my partner. Bring agony and ecstasy to my partner. Sex would come to eventually, with the right person.And it would be great. Don’t limit your options by only playing with those you would fuck. Instead sample a wide variety. Try different skills. Learn. Grow. Be a better Dominant for your submissive, but play with those that were available so you can be better.
I think it is what made me a good Master for my esclave. We have sex, but our relationship is not based on sex. Sex is good, but Control is better. She knows her place. I know mine. We are both happier this way. And sex is better this way.
But there were a whole lot of people before her that I played with that allowed me to be who I am with her.And I appreciate them for the opportunity for growth they allowed me.
Some couldn’t imagine doing what they do without a sexual relationship. I can respect this, but I think they are missing out on a while lot Opportunities to learn and grow. How can you know if your partner will like something if you don’t take the time to become good at it? The first time may be so bad they never want to do it again, while a more experienced player can tell you what you are doing well.
Look at the acronym BDSM. Originally this meant Bondage and Discipline plus Sadism and Masochism. Later, Domination and Submission was added to round out the group. Bondage is tying someone up.Discipline means control and pain. Sadism is about inflicting pain, Masochism means receiving pain. Domination and Submission are about taking and giving up control.
Where is the Sex in that list? It isn’t there. And I think there is a reason for that.
Let me know what you think, in the comments.
MV
The House of Void 
great article. does Master Void have an email address? wanted to contact you about a scene issue, but can’t find an email address anywhere on the blog.
thx,
-j in dc
great article.
btw, does Master Void have an email address? i wanted to contact him regarding a scene issue, but didn’t see an email address on this blog. did i just miss it?
thx!
-j in dc
There is a link to contact me on the suggestions page, but I will send you a mail in a few and you can reply to that.