Managing a Successful Long Distance Relationship.

18 03 2010

Last September, I did a brief presentation on how to make a successful long distance relationship. I gave this presentation because my slave lives in New Jersey and I live in North Carolina, a 10-12 hour drive. More recently, I have been asked about how to be successful over long distances by a friend. I thought my words would make a good post, so here goes.

The key to any successful relationship is communication. When dealing with hours of physical separation, this is even more important. To make things work, hours must be spent talking, listening, hearing your partner. Effort is required by all parties in the relationship. If only one person is trying, then it will fail. I choose the term partner particularly in light that this is a blog focused on BDSM and D/s M/s relationships. My slave compliments me.  We are equals in an unequal relationship. She completes me, I complete her.  The sum is larger than either of us alone. But equally if either of us is not present in the relationship, then the relationship is less than either of us alone.

Fortunately we have some amazing tools in this modern era to assist our efforts to keep in touch.  In the past, when couples became separated by miles and miles of distance they could only write.  Long slow weeks and months may pass between letters. Later came the telephone. With the telephone, you could call and talk for hours, but with the caveat that if you were not careful you could have a phone bill that would cost you many hundreds of dollars (I can attest to this fact myself). Now we have cell phones with unlimited talk time, computers and the Internet.

Cell phones offer at least two options for communication. The first is the most important: Voice.  You can talk as much as you want as long as you want to someone in your country for one flat rate.  Many carriers offer free calls to those in your network or circle. This is fantastic compared to years past.  SMS is the other option, which means you can send a short message or carry on a conversation when talking may not be wise. Meetings at work, dinner in a restaurant, hanging out with friends, even the movies (though those around you may frown at this, lol). Those are features available on even the simplest cell phone these days, add to it smart phones like my beloved iPhone and you end up with capabilities of a modern desktop in your pocket.

Computers on the Internet offer almost too many options.  The one I want to focus on here is Skype. Skype allows a nearly flawless voice connection computer to computer for free. It works like AIM or Yahoo! Messenger, but the quality is better. It allows a fantastic video to be sent as well from your webcam. Combined with a nice, comfortable headphone (I recommend usb connections over mini-jack plugs) and you can spend hours together. My girl and I spend hours watching TV or playing on the computer this way. She is so addicted to me that we have a habit of going to sleep with headphones on. (Headphones are not designed for this and wear out at an ungodly rate this way, LOL).

I hope that the above has been helpful to you. Let me know how you handle the separation from your loved one. Do you have tips that I have missed? Let everyone know, in the comments.

MV








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