So I have started writing my weekly service book of days but I feel that I need to evolve it a little bit. I think if I continued to follow the prompts in its current form, I would be missing the point of why hisnamaste started it. The purpose was for me to remember my days in service to Master. In every area of my life (kids, work, extra activities) are in service to Master.
My service to Master was a bit rocky this past week. I messed up really bad and at this stage of our relationship I should not have messed up on something so basic.
My life is changing and it feels like I still have so much to do. I didn’t realize that I am feeling so stressed with fixing the house, looking for a place, a car, taking care of the kids all while being in service to Master. I thought if I took a minute and did something out of my normal that I would be able to cope. That was wrong of me. Master says one of the important things in our relationship is my need to communicate with him about everything. There is no area of me that should be kept away from him. I could say that it was my need to be always “okay” with him and I would be correct. It was my need to be “okay” which hinders me from being Master’s slave.
With moving closer to Master, which I can not wait for, I guess I am putting too much pressure on myself to be different, better.
So no more of that.
I am going to start writing a blog post once a week that will be titled “How Not to Negotiate”. This blog will be focussed on the lessons I have learned from being with Master and I think this will help me refocus on my being Master’s slave and remembering my space.
Master Void’s esclave