2010: A Few Thoughts to End a Year

31 12 2010

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw]

2010 has been a very interesting year for those in the House of Void. I was in the middle of an implosion of my local community, when one of the leaders began a rabid campaign against anyone who had different views, I lost my job, got a new one, had to back out of a major commitment, got a servant, and even got married. It was a very big year.

But as I think back, I think it was over all a good year. The positives out weighed the negatives. I want to finish up this year with a thought. As a Master, it is my job to inspire my slave, not merely have her serve me. I linked to this video (Firework by Katy Perry) because I think it embodies that ideal. We have to bring out the best in our slaves and submissives by being their inspiration. And, every so often, it works in reverse too. Yes, my slave has inspired me to push myself, to get me out of my confort zone, just as I have inspired her. Someone told me once that a Master/slave relationship is an unequal relationship between equal people. I firmly believe this. I live this.

So, next year, be an inspiration to your partner. And try to see if your partner inspires you too.

MV


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Masters: Study Slavery

7 10 2010

OK, this is going to be a short post. I wanted to talk about something for the Masters today.  We have to know a lot of stuff to be good at what we do. But I think that one of the things that is often ignored is the importance of a Master of knowing what is good service.

I would implore you to read all that you can about the subject. Become an expert on what it takes to serve. Know the mind set. Frankly, the mindset is alien to me, but I have learned over the years to appreciate it and to know what it takes to be a good one.

Remember to buy the slave book and read them first, before you hand them to your slave. It is just as important to know these things first as it is to know the other more Masterly topics.

Anyway,  that is my thought for today.

MV


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How Not to Negotiate: How do I find the One for me?

9 08 2010

I thought this post would be a deviation from the normal tone of my “How Not to Negotiate” posts but I think it fits.  So often many come in to this lifestyle wondering how to find the One for them or asking what qualifications a Dominant would need to have for them.   So many times people speak as if coming into this lifestyle negates their ability to know what is right or wrong for them.

So here’s my post for tonight.

I think the end of my marriage was the ultimate in my long line of bad choices where men are concerned or maybe it was finally my wakeup call…shrugs

I was married for 8 years and celibate for 8 years after that.  Although in my marriage I think I was celibate for the last 5 years…LOL and shakes my head.

So after my marriage and all the time I had alone I decided to take a break and find out about me.   During that time I learned about myself.  I learned that even though the men I dated/loved/married were unable to be what I needed; I did know what I needed and I had to take comfort and be courageous in getting what I need.

I learned that I needed to be alone.  Being alone, without someone (man) was for me the worst thing that could happen.   It wasn’t.  I learned to really love myself for myself.  That no one can validate (b : to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of <validate his concerns>) me because I was already worthy.  I did not need to try and save someone from their own mess in order to make me not look so bad.  I learned to forgive myself for my mistakes.  I learned that I can have someone that will love me for me without having to jump through hoops or accept something that was not right for me.  My vow…No more martyrdom or saving puppies.

So after my self-imposed break I felt it was time for me to get back out there and I did, but I went back to doing the things that were wrong for me.  See my convictions about what I needed and entitled to in my life were untested.   “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

Nelson Mandela, ’A Long Walk to Freedom’  S. African black civil rights leader (1918 – )

I realized that I had changed.  I saw for myself that using my old ways of relating to people did not fit me anymore.  I didn’t need to be the old me. That period of my life had served its purpose and now I could truly leave it behind.

My life lessons before entering this lifestyle were valuable to me in steering clear of the many pitfalls of this lifestyle.  When I met my Master I already knew what I needed in my life and what I did not need in my life or my children’s lives.  No more justifying or trying to make someone love me or accept me and I would accept nothing less.  I picked him just as much as he picked me.

So my words of learning:  Take to heart the things you have learned from your life.  Choosing a Master is no different than choosing a vanilla partner.  During the getting to know you process you are getting to know each other as people, companions,  lovers, and a M/s couple.  To me this lifestyle is about relationship and building a healthy relationship in the way that you need.   Don’t rush this part and if it does not meet your needs in the beginning no amount of time will make it fit for you.  Hurt people will continue to be hurt people no matter what you do or think you need to do to fix them.   Most important, there is nothing wrong with seeking and finding what is right for you.


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Thoughts on Quality

12 05 2010

Photo used per creative commons. Some rights reserved by owner. Click on pic for details.

I started this blog a little over three years ago. I have learned over time to be consistent with my posting, trying to get something interesting on this site at least three times a week. Once by my lovely slave, and two times by me. But sometimes life gets in the way. Every once and a while, my muse provides me with no inspiration (or even time on occasion) to post. I would rather focus on quality than quantity. And I have been trying to make my posts better, not just throwing up a video, but explaining why I chose that video.

I think that is true too for a M/s (Master and slave) relationship. All relationships really.

It is particularly dangerous in a M/s Relationship to just coast. To become too focused on the wrote matters of day to day living and life. Each of us must remember to focus on the quality of the relationship, rather on the quantity in the relationship. You cannot make up with time for a lack of devotion to the relationship. The Master must master. The slave must serve. Both must be within the relationship, neither can coast.

Thus is the danger in life of coasting. I am prone to do this, I get comfortable in things, say my job, and don’t think about improving things or changing things until I am pushed to do so. But I can do this in my job.  I cannot do this with my slave.

I must continually push her to be better, and she must in turn challenge me to be the Master she disserves. That isn’t to say that she is going to ever be perfect. And it certainly doesn’t mean that she is topping me when she challenges me. What it does mean is that we each have to strive to be the best of what we are in our relationship.

We are compliments in this relationship.

I complete her submission. I give her purpose and focus in life.

She completes my Mastery. She provides the fulcrum to focus my will upon.

Together we make art. But if either one is absent in the relationship, the art fails. We are incomplete.

Quality over quantity.

I have learned this from writing here. I have had this reinforced by my relationship with my slave, so may states away.

Peace and Tranquility

MV



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Service Book of Days 10/12/09

12 10 2009

Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) is cold but the weather is nice. It feels sort of like a spring type cold and not yet a winter type cold…lol

my thoughts…are about trying to regain my equilibrium in regards to my slavery.

Today’s Quote…“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” Emil Ludwig quotes (German Biographer and Writer who is internationally known for his many popular biographies, 1881-1948)

i am thankful for…always my family, all my moments – good and bad. I know I keep saying this but these are the things that I am most thankful for…everything else is just gravy, as the saying goes.

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) I am learning another aspect of surrender. That Master’s rules don’t change no matter what I may think. These are his rules and my role is to accept, internalize, surrender to them. Actually the slave surrendering is the only way I can see for our relationship. Not surrendering to Master’s rules means that I am saving some part of my independence to use at a later time.

From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) I am cooking breakfast every morning for the kids.

i am wearing…Master’s shirt. Even though his smell has long since departed from this shirt, just putting it on makes me feel all warm and cozy.

i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) nothing new at the moment

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) No adventures this weekend. I am going to continue to do stuff around my house. Still trying to prepare my house for selling.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?)…Nothing this week. I am going to search for another good book on surrendering and slavery.

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children. I pray for the people around us to not take their life for granted.

Todays Melody..(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)  No melodies today…just quiet.

One of my favorite things…I am relearning my love for cooking.  For creating my own meals.

further plans for this week…housecleaning/clearing. Continuing my workout plan. Fixing up my house.

Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)

the beginningI chose this photo as for me I need to remember where my place is and that no matter where I am or what space I am in  (with him or away from him) this is the beginning, middle, and end for me.   His slave.  It is when I lose sight of this that my space gets to be an unhappy place.  My constant choice is to be His slave.

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Here are the directions for this post if you are interested in starting your own:
Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention my blog and offer a link back to the main page of my blog. This way others can participate in the project as well! http://servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com/


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Service Savoire Faire 9/28/9

28 09 2009
  • Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) it is a nice day out rainy but the breeze blowing felt really good…sort of warm. I love it. Sort of wish I was naked in a field letting the rain and win caress my body…sighs.   

 

  • my thoughts…are on setting my life in order. Organizing things so that the kids and I can move our life closer to Master.  

 

  • Today’s Quote…”As I drifted away I could only bask in the good feelings being with a man I loved one whose life had become inextricably woven into mine. Whatever else mastery and slavery has held for us, it has meant contentment.”  The Compleat Slave, Jack Rinella 

 

  • I remember saying to Master when we first got together that the one thing I did not want was for us to to get use to each other. To me that meant we would fall into a rut of taking each other for granted and not appreciating each other. Sort of losing sight of how special we are to each other.   

 

  • I have changed my view on that. When I am in Master’s space, my very soul just breathes a sigh of relief and contentment. I am soulfully happy to be in his space and I love it.  

 

  • i am thankful for…always my family, all my moments – good and bad  

 

  • From my service training… (any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) I am learning to focus on my space through meditation.  

 

  • From the kitchen… (menu for the week, what are you cooking?) So I made my butternut squash soup and homemade biscuits for dinner this weekend. It was a hit and miss. The soup was a bit thicker than I expected because I think I over beat it since I made it with cream. My youngest daughter made the homemade biscuits and we had a lot of fun cooking and sharing with each other. My youngest son Jacob was not too enthused on the soup. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and the thought of having soup as a main meal was not good for him. He said that he never heard of someone having soup for an entrée that people only order it as an appetizer. LOL So the next meal I cook will have to be something with substance. He ended up eating a frozen pizza. Also, as something I thought would be interesting I served the soup in wine glasses which two of my children liked but again my finicky eater Jacob did not like it.  

    This cooking thing is turning out to be a fun adventure not just for me but for the kids as well. 

  • i am wearing…my skin…lol relaxing in the freedom to be free. 

 

  • i am creating… (crafts, sewing etc;) nothing new at the moment 

 

  • my adventures this week… (where are you going this week?) No adventures this weekend. I am going to continue to do stuff around my house. 

 

  • Becoming well read… (What are you reading this week?) Listening to the Four Agreements and thinking about getting the new Oprah selection called Say You’re One of Them by Uwem Akpan. I read the few pages posted on her site and was instantly grabbed by the visuals created. 

 

  • i manifest and co-create… (what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children. I pray for the people around us to not take their life for granted. 

 

  • Todays Melody… (what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) So I was on the train coming home and I was tired and totally impatient for the doors to open at my stop. I heard one of best sounds ever….a baby laughing. I love that sound. Babies laugh with such abandon and joy. Perked me right up. 

 

  • One of my favorite things…is to daydream. Yeah I admit I like to take moments and let my mind wander to wherever it wants to go. I dream and day dream in bright vibrant colors. 

 

  • further plans for this week…housecleaning/clearing. Continuing my workout plan. Fixing up my house further. 

 

  • Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)

desktop-macbookpro-macbook-484430-l

 

 

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.
Mention my blog and offer a link back to the main page of my blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!http://servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com/


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Categories : BDSM, General, Links, Protocol, Techniques

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