MV

We meld…two become one after a long day of separation.

The time apart only enhances these times together

Our bodies fit together without any awkwardness

In and out, In and out

One breath, one heartbeat

my thoughts…are on how to make a relationship continue to work.

Today’s Quote:   

With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.

Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine US actress & television talk show host (1954 – )

i am thankful for…

i am wearing…a pink tanktop and pink and red pajama bottoms

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  nothing happening this weekend.  Hanging home.

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) my reality with each choice I make.

Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) G-Series Fit mix treadmill workout number 3…lol

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Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

Now apparently they are rolling out a feature that does both. And it is on by default. I felt betrayed. I got that feeling you get when a company does something sleazy. Let’s call it that “FaceBook Feeling” because that’s how that site makes me fee with the way they change settings and eliminate privacy without much complaint. And I feel even less motivated to donate to support the site. (Actually I feel motivated to not donate, so I that I will not get features I neither want nor need.)

I thought about deleting my account. But really, would that matter? Would anybody else even care? Who would even notice?

In my analysis, it seemed that the only person who would suffer is myself. I gain nothing from killing my account. Staying with a site I now consider to be in the same league as FaceBook when it comes to my trust. I’ll still be there when ASL Search comes. I’ll still be there when they sell my info. Why? Because it is a trade off. I get something. I can control most of what FetLife sees about me.

I’ve come to learn companies lie. They do what makes the most money.

And they lie. When it is convenient they change their story. I had hoped that fetlife would be different. Time has shown me that they aren’t really all that different.

So, I will be turning that feature off. Turning off scripting on that site. I will probably not recommend FetLife to anyone in the future, at least until I am convinced John means what he says. Our reputation and credibility is important. More so in this shadowy world of kink we live in. I feel most disappointed because I have been there from the warily days, my blog started within a month of FetLife’s start. It felt like family.

And now, it feels more like FaceBook.

If you have any thoughts or feelings about this, or FetLife in general please feel free to post in the comments. ( And if you feel like I am full of it, let me know that too. )

It’s been a while since I wrote on here.  Hope the start to everyone’s new year was awesome.

So this is the time when people make resolutions.  Resolutions to lose weight, be kinder, love more, or let go of things.

I choose to not make resolutions as I am a big time procrastinator and the one thing that Master taught me was to always do things now.

Master sent me this note he saw on this blog:  http://blog.chasejarvis.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/thenextgreatidea.png

What are your “do it now” objectives for the new year?

Mine are to continue to serve better in terms of listening, and viewing my life through “now” eyes.

my thoughts…are on making concrete changes

Today’s Quote:   

It’s really easy to complain. If you’re not careful, then you end up complaining about your whole life. Concentrating on the good things is really good. Catch people doing good.

Lisa Williams, Bloggers In Love, SXSW 2006

i am thankful for…heat…lol

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) juicing and baking

i am wearing…a blankie

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  nothing going on this weekend.  Christmas is almost here and we don’t even have a tree.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) listening to an audio book on self exploration for women.  ”Women who run with wolves” by Clarissa Estes.  I have to say listening to this book has made me feel very energetic and light and filled with visions of dancing in the wild underneath the night sky until the morning sun.

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week)

Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)  That “Free Credit Report.com” song where the parent’s give the kid a credit card to start school.  I dislike this commercial very much…lol  The song ends by saying “hard times for Daddy and Mom” based on what the kids has done.  My thoughts are hard times for the kid to help repay what she spent by living at home and getting a job…lol

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from: Me

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

my thoughts…are fluffy and warm and all calm and determined.

Today’s Quote:   

With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.

Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine US actress & television talk show host (1954 – )

i am thankful for…fresh fruits and vegetables.  I am starting this cleanse program for not only my body but those cobwebs and hang ups in my mind.

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) learning to appreciate a clean cat box…sigh

i am wearing…Master’s bathrobe

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  hmmm i think this weekend will be filled with munches and hanging with kinky friends.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) listening to an audio book on self exploration for women.  ”Women who run with wolves” by Clarissa Estes

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) silent negative inner voices

Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=221881&searchId=45b8db8c564e04c80f032c96ba1d920d&npos=17

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

When I started out, I was directed to improve myself. Learn control. Learn how to manipulate the flash of my partner. Bring agony and ecstasy to my partner. Sex would come to eventually, with the right person.And it would be great. Don’t limit your options by only playing with those you would fuck. Instead sample a wide variety. Try different skills. Learn. Grow. Be a better Dominant for your submissive, but play with those that were available so you can be better.

I think it is what made me a good Master for my esclave. We have sex, but our relationship is not based on sex. Sex is good, but Control is better. She knows her place. I know mine. We are both happier this way. And sex is better this way.

But there were a whole lot of people before her that I played with that allowed me to be who I am with her.And I appreciate them for the opportunity for growth they allowed me.

Some couldn’t imagine doing what they do without a sexual relationship. I can respect this, but I think they are missing out on a while lot Opportunities to learn and grow. How can you know if your partner will like something if you don’t take the time to become good at it? The first time may be so bad they never want to do it again, while a more experienced player can tell you what you are doing well.

Look at the acronym BDSM. Originally this meant Bondage and Discipline plus Sadism and Masochism. Later, Domination and Submission was added to round out the group. Bondage is tying someone up.Discipline means control and pain. Sadism is about inflicting pain, Masochism means receiving pain. Domination and Submission are about taking and giving up control.

Where is the Sex in that list? It isn’t there. And I think there is a reason for that.

Let me know what you think, in the comments.

MV

my thoughts… are on enjoying my one day at a time

Today’s Quote:   Real glory springs from the silent conquest of ourselves.    Joseph P. Thompson

i am thankful for…snuggly nights with Master.

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) learning to not overcook meat.  I do get it right but every now and then that one time the meat is like drinking a cup of sand

i am wearing…a black top and black pants

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  No adventures this weekend.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) listening to an audio book on self exploration for women.  ”Women who run with wolves” by Clarissa Estes

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) reality with patience.

Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)  No songs today just quiet as my head is a bit on the achy side

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=655647&searchId=0e82533c37fced763be34a5c21d720c9&npos=6

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

The issues we had in relating to each other were put on the back burner due to our distance. It was realized that our communication skills were really lacking.

Truthfully, my habit of being extremely passive aggressive when I got upset instead of talking about what was bothering me became a downer in the house and made even being around each other feel like a chore for me. He would ask “what’s wrong” my passive aggressive response “nothing”…So there you see issues of me not being open and honest and trusting.

Other issues (His sickness, my kids, stress of moving) didn’t help our situation one bit.

One night when we were out together, I finally could not hold it in any longer and broke or more like cried my eyes out. I still could not say what was bothering me as I let stuff build up too much. When I was finally able to speak days later I mentioned some of the items above that were bothering me. But as I finally began to open up I realized what i was missing the most and what was the real issue for me was our lack of intimacy.

You see with us being apart we made time to just talk to each other. One of the things we would do before going to sleep every night was to talk. Talk about our day, what was going on, politics, kids, make jokes, whatever. We would share space with each other. Just us space. This was better than sex space, this was us connecting together, relaxing with each other, mentally and emotionally reconnecting. This for me was so freaking important more than I realized.

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture…Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.
Norman Vincent Peale (1898 – 1993)

Basically, I lost my happy picture. With me “doing” and “caring’ and “making sure” for everyone else, i lost my happy picture and my happy place. I saw everything that was not right and developed unhappiness and my outlook was bleak. I was secretly wishing that my house wouldn’t sell so that I could have a place to go back to you when (not if) this didn’t work out.

I am so extremely grateful to Master. He listened to me, acknowledged that stuff was screwy and had me kiss his feet.

Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery.
Matthew Arnold (1822 – 1888)

Yeah, myself is as His slave. That’s who I am. I needed to remember why I chose to be His slave. I was not relying on my foundation which was Him. I guess Him being sick shook me more than I thought. My Superman was not so impervious after all. Instead of acknowledging that bit as well I did what I was taught to do, fell back on to my years of being a single mom and teachings of the woman always taking control and put myself in charge, lost my foundation, and lost my happiness.

Master said to me last night “we are happier now than we have been”. I agree with this. We are happy. We connect, we talk, we apologize, we are back on track.

My hand in His for ever and always.

MV’s esclave

I got better. More or less. At least as healthy as I was before.

My slave is here. There are adjustments I have had to make. Adjustments she has had to make. There are others we have to keep in mind (her kids). I think the hardest part is that we were used to being on our own.

But, we are making it. One day at a time.

It is a journey. My hand in hers. A process.

One that has to succeed.

my thoughts… are thoughtful thoughts on the ebbs and flows of relationships.

Today’s Quote:   Nothing endures but personal qualities.

Walt Whitman
US poet (1819 – 1892)

i am thankful for…bananas and greek yogurt

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) meal planning with picky eaters.

i am wearing…a blue denim shirt

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?)  Hopefully I will be driving to NJ to close on my home.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) Nothing at the moment.  My mind if focussed on finding work and adjustments.

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) reality with patience.

Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)  ”If I could change the world, I would be the sunlight in your universe”…Eric Clapton

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=2069557&searchId=019b25b81a8b0c80b7f1190c5de896bf&npos=6

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

This is a statue of Phyllis Wheatley – America’s first black poet

http://www.earlyamerica.com/review/winter96/wheatley.html

I know I used this picture before but it is where I have been these past few weeks.  Just thinking and adjusting.

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

MV

And I enjoyed visiting the library and sitting at Vi’s feet. I learned things about our history. Asked questions. Found a very odd book (on mamology of all things) in the library. I heard my elders and contemporaries (even some fresher faces too) tell stories of days past.

The only negative thing I would say is that there wasn’t enough tracks. The stories were all in sequence.  I wish that there were other “tracks” as it were, choices in who to hear.  But I guess they wanted to film it all and that make it difficult.

It is somewhat strange to see our history being recorded. We tend to be paranoid about cameras in our culture. With good reason too. Too many of us have been hurt by others that do not understand us.

But times are changing. And that does make me glad.

Too much of our history is lost.

MV

my thoughts… on how much this past weekend was important for me. Master and i attended the Leather History Conference and it was very much worth it..

Today’s Quote: Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.

Aldous Huxley, Vedanta for the Western World, 1945
English critic & novelist (1894 – 1963)

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) finding new recipes for weekly meals.

i am wearing…black pants and grey sweatshirt.

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) Master has said that we might go to the Ren Faire this weekend. Something closer to home.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) I am not reading or listening to anything at the moment.

Today’s Melody…(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…) You’re My Latest, My Greatest, Inspiration, Teddy Pendergras

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you) Photo published separately.

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me.