MV

In the video the lady is writing about how the guy makes her feel and the man was drawing a picture of her.  Both in seperate seats, both thinking about each other.

The Chorus of the song goes:

“All you gotta do is say yes

Don’t deny what you feel let me undress you baby

Open up your mind just rest

I’m about to let you know you make me…”

Aside from the sexual reference the clarity that came to me was “Fill your mind with what you want/desire”.  Of late my brain has been on a downward spiral of what I don’t have (no job, no personal income, no stability, no whatever).  I have filled my brain with stress, sorrow, depression.

Last night lying in bed with Master I felt incredibly tired holding on to this stuff.

For self preservation I need to fill my head with better stuff.

“First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.”

Thomas a Kempis, 1420
German mystic & religious author (1380 – 1471)

Electric weapon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m glad you asked.  I will be presenting at the Burke Educational Group in June on electrical play. I quite enjoy playing with electricity, although esclave can generally leave it. Not that she get that choice often. There is a physical and a psychological aspect to the play you don’t get with some other types of play. If you care to learn more, and are near Burke County, NC in June check out the event on FetLife. I’ll be talking about how to include electrical play in your scene with things from tens units to stun guns. I hope to see some of you there.

MV

Well folks, it is getting close to that time again. Time for my favorite convention. BlackBEAT 2012 is coming this August (16-19). I will be there again this year as the Director of Security (mainly that involves a bunch or running around with my iPad and saying “Can I see your badge?”). This year is the 10th anniversary of the conference, so it should be extra special.

It is an amazing event that I cannot say enough about. I recommend that you check it out.

And don’t forget to say “Howdy” if you see me!

MV

King of the Gods, Zeus, at the Getty Villa. Roman, Italy, A.D. 1 – 100. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t mentioned this in a while, but Master Black Zeus runs a twice weekly conference, on  Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is usually very informative. A great (and gentle) introduction into aspect of the lifestyle. It is open to all.  I think you would enjoy it, and I do enjoy attending myself.  Thursday this week, the topic is on “Manners, Etiquette, and Tradition.” It is online and easy to set up. If you have a few moments tomorrow night, I would go.  You can find out more here.

MV

For some reason I have been contemplating  someone’s questioning on whether they should keep the leather they earned.  Sitting here writing about a completely different lesson about my personal journey the below just became clear to me.

Leather is personal.  It can be earned through a set of instructions given to you by someone but it is what you put into those lessons that make it earned.  Completing the instructions are secondary to your personal journey.  It is like the sensei talking to the pupil, try and grab the grasshopper from my hand.  The goal was not to grab the grasshopper but I imagine it was for the pupil to learn why he wanted the grasshopper, what would he gain by completing that task, what will happen after he completed the task, how completing that task will change, affect, grow their life, etc.  It is the process of earning leather not the destination.   It is yours, earned through your lessons learned and no one can take that from you.

The chorus for this song has been playing in my head all week. Sometimes in the background most times in the foreground when I wake up.

The song talks about releasing a relationship but I think it can also mean that we need to release those things that are not good for us (habits, relationships, behaviors, anger, frustration, hopelessness, wishful thinking, love, whatever). The pain we feel from releasing these things hurts but once the hurt stops the healing begins.

Sometimes we just need to make the decision to Let it Flow back into the universe in order to receive so much more.

Happy Day Everyone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vJrUMD0AZU&feature=related

TONI BRAXTON-LET IT FLOW

www.youtube.com

In some ways you connect and intertwine yourself with someone else.    It is not something that most people give lightly.  Deep trust in M/s relationships is a must.  Both parties have to be willing to let go and bloom.

Trust is not lost all at once it happens in stages, it is like a death.

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

“If we fall, we don’t need self-recrimination or blame or anger – we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again.”

~Sharon Salzberg, O Magazine, The Power of Intention, January 2004

Once the decision is made to rebuild trust in someone, the decision must also made to be open again.  It is not an easy thing, basically you are starting over again with different information and reversing the stages of grief.

This is a hard thing and everyone needs to really access themselves to see if it can be done.  Sometimes holding onto  the hurt of putting themselves out there again makes people want to not bloom with that person anymore.

If you do decide to stay beating yourself up and bringing up the past will not move you forward and will not help the relationship grow or change.  Time must be given to heal but healing must be done.  Self healing, relationship healing, regaining trust.

Giving someone your trust as the quote says is not a black and white kinda of thing. The popular thought is being able to trust someone who is completely honest all the time. Those lies you tell a friend who is feeling a bit body conscious is not being honest all the time. Then the differences are made between big lies and little lies.

For me I don’t require truth in everything. Trust is not built on just one thing for me it is built on many things. To trust I require, honesty concerning the things that have been determined crucial (faithfulness, consistency, respect, being there for me, having a shoulder to cry on, someone who means what they say, etc.) I think you get the picture.

When trust is lost in a relationship it is not just that one thing that is lost it is all those things that go with trusting someone that is lost. Once lost it can be gotten back but it takes time. Although it is never the same as before. There’s that voice in the back of your brain or that piece in your heart that is kept separate and closed against full trust though. It’s like breaking the handle off of your favorite mug. You never really find all the pieces to glue it perfectly together again.

Some relationships can be better than it was before as it helps remove the newness rapper and expose the realness of the relationship. It is in the realness of a relationship that the relationship can strengthen if the relationship is still wanted by two people.

Some relationships end. Which is sometimes the best way to survive. I think sometimes people hold on too long to something that was not meant to be forever. There is freedom in giving yourself permission with being okay with leaving. As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one then you know what to do.

Neither is right as the decision is determined by the participants. I prefer to stay. Work it out if it can be and build a better, different relationship.

A dominant should not do this. Topping from the bottom can be a serious issue. But for some people, it is how their relationship is structured. Topping from the bottom is when the bottom directs how the scene or relationship goes. In a more traditional BDSM relationship (if there is such a thing), the dominant is in the one providing direction and control of the subs activities. In this situation a sub is “topping from the bottom” when they try to manipulate a dominant’s feeling to provide what that want. That is the issue here. Manipulation. typically we call this passive aggressive behavior. That is what makes it wrong.

A sub is well within their rights to let the dominant know what they need.  What they require in the relationship. A dominant needs to listen to this. They need to hear what the sub is saying.  And that isn’t topping from the bottom.

But sometimes Dominants try to manipulate their submissives too. This is equally bad. Subs, don’t fall for this trap. Doms, don’t pull it.

MV

my thoughts…are on doing what I need to do

Today’s Quote:   

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content webcomic, #352, 05-04-05

Or in other words you can say Fuck’em and move on

i am thankful for…my parents.  They have taught me great life lessons and made me the person who I am today by their examples of love, respect, dedication, loving self and family ))

From my service training…nothing

i am wearing…a bathrobe

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) Nothing

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?) Listening to an iTunes U book about Programming Methodology

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

my thoughts…are on the things i need to do.

Today’s Quote:   

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.e e cummings
US poet (1894 – 1962) 

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) perspective

i am wearing…jeans and a t-shirt

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) no plans for the week.

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=15567671

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

my thoughts…are peaceful

Today’s Quote:   

We are all born with wonderful gifts. We use these gifts to express ourselves, to amuse, to strengthen, and to communicate. We begin as children to explore and develop our talents, often unaware that we are unique, that not everyone can do what we’re doing!

Lynn Johnston, Lynn on Ideas

i am thankful for…my life

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) weeding and obedience

i am wearing…my frumpy clothes.  I have been dealing with a migraine bought on from eating mexican food.

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) No plans for the day

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?)No new books at the moment

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

http://www.sxc.hu/info.phtml?f=help&s=8_2

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=264899&searchId=d229bbf31eaeebc7c88897732d8b932d&npos=9

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me. 

my thoughts…are fitful.  Unfortunately a tired old tune keeps playing in my head.  People in this world can be so tiring.  ”There but for the Grace of God” by the Machine…Let’s find a place they say, somewhere far away; With no blacks, no Jews and no gays

Today’s Quote:   

There are people whom one loves immediately and forever. Even to know they are alive in the world with one is quite enough.Nancy Spain

i am thankful for…life

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) weeding and obedience

i am wearing…my workout clothes which seem to be my versatile gardening clothes as well

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) I have nothing planned but who knows what the universe has in store…lol

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?)Listening to a new audio book about druids and magic

Still….life(share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)  Photo used with permission from:

These are the lovely birds that sing to me in the early morning as I am doing my housework.  Such a lovely sound they  make.  Cheers me right up

http://freerangestock.com/terms_of_use.php

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=4961178&searchId=957123299804768b2a91ec9ea5491148&npos=109

=====================================================

Want to start something different.  Here are the direct

ions:

Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.

Mention the blog (service savoir faire) and offer a link back to the main page of the blog. This way others can participate in the project as well!  www.servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com

So now that you know how, please feel free to join me.