Protocols from a slave’s view

30 05 2009

My Master has done an excellent job of portraying his thinking on how and what protocols are for His house.  I would like to relate how these protocols affect me.

This definition of a protocols was taken from a tech website but I somehow feel that it applies, the bolded portions are my words):
Protocols are an agreed-upon format for transmitting data (instructions, rules, behaviors) between two devices (Master to slave).   The protocol determines the following:
  • the type of error checking to be used   (I send to Master everyday a daily email detailing certain items that I should have done)
  •  

  • data compression (storing data in a format that requires less space than usual) method, if any (self explanatory,  Master does not make his protocols so extensive that the meaning gets lost)
  •  

  • how the sending device will indicate that it has finished sending a message (My Master usually asks if I have any questions or if I need any clarification on the protocol(s) introduced)
  •  

  • how the receiving device will indicate that it has received a message  (my affirmation of “yes Master”) 
  • This is how I perceive my Master’s protocols.  They are our special way to communicate with each other.  He transfers to me his way for me to programmed to his specifications.  I have protocols for when I am at his home, my home and in public (vanilla and M/s setting).





    Safety in BDSM Is Not Always Black and White

    4 05 2009

    A post on one of the websites I frequent today spurred a thought on the issues of safety and BDSM. BDSM is a high risk activity, along the lines of hiking and camping, white water rafting, or even bungee jumping or parasailing. That said, I am more philosophically aligned with RACK not SSC. Each and every one of us do not have the same issues with safety. What is safe for me, may be highly dangerous for another. Theses are things that we must keep in mind when planning or witnessing a scene.

    • Different activities have different risk level. What this means is caning has one level of risk, caning needles, another. A violent wand is a great thing, but combining that with a piercing can cause risks that you may not have taken into account.
    • Different physical issues carry different risks. A young, flexible, nubile toy does not have the same risk level as a BBW, 63 year old slave. Both can be played with, but don’t make the old slave crawl along the floor, because you may need to pick her back up.
    • Different mental issues cause bad risks. If you don’t know everything about your sub, how can you know that putting a gag in her mouth will cause her to freak out. (Yes, this has happened to me, but that is another tale.) Be careful, take the time to get to know your partners as fully as possible, and take responsibility when the bad things occur.
    • Different play styles carry inherently different risk. Does the person playing start hard without warmup? Iron butt syndrome? Or perhaps they prefer to use a more gentle touch. The hard core player who changes it up with his partner without warning, is likely to cause some mental distress. A gentle player who suddenly wacks his sub hard, may end up causing physical and mental trauma. Watch what you are doing, and be ready to handle the fallout. And if you see a player playing differently than you are comfortable with, don’t let that be the sole factor in deciding that the scene is “bad”.

    So, I want you to keep these issues in mind when watching or planning out the evenings events. Do you have the experience to judge if an activity is unsafe? Or are you having an issue because it makes you afraid? Squick you?

    MV






    Surrender and Obedience

    1 05 2009

    Surrender:

    –verb (used without object)

    6. to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.

    Obedience:

    1 a: an act or instance of obeying

    I am learning that my life with Sir is one of active surrender and obedience.  My life as his slave is not passive on my part it is an action.   Becoming fully Master’s property requires me to let go of those things that hinder me becoming such.

    I surrender my emotions, my resistance, my very self to Sir in different instances and obey even during those times when I really don’t want to.  My surrendering and obedience to Sir is moment by moment sometimes but as it is my choice to be His then i surrender and obey.





    Something for your weekend

    10 04 2009

    I know this is a bit of short notice but if you are in the NY/NJ area and have time Jay Wiseman will be giving two classes at the Crawlspace in Montclair, NJ on 4/11.

    He will be talking about conflict resolution and given a demonstration on elastic predicament bondage.

    This was copied from the write up on the NJ Kink page on Fetlife:

    Apr 11th: 2 classes by renowned bdsm educator and lawyer, Jay Wiseman will be presented at Dressing For Pleasure in Montclair, New Jersey. He will be on hand after each class to the students for book signings.

    Click here and here to view additional details and to RSVP.

    If you go, please post a comment on how your thoughts from these classes.





    BDSM 101: Your First Club Event

    1 04 2009

    I wrote previously about going to your first munch. There are other types of BDSM events as well. The next one I want to look at is the Club Event.

    BDSM clubs meet in various hotel rooms, leather bars and whatnot across the country. They are more focused on education than your average munch group. A munch group may teach, but it is more likely to be in the form of one on one tutoring, rather than a presentation during the munch. That said some munch groups are clubs and some clubs behave like a munch group, so don’t get hung up on a name. Also, unlike a munch, a club meeting is not usually focused on food.

    Imagine a hall filled with chairs, all facing the same direction. A podium or a table is at the end of the room, and everyone is focused on the animated speaker that is discussing one area or another of our perversions. There may be a demonstration model in some sort of bondage, while the presenter talks about the finer points of how to lay the rope or tie a knot.

    The people in both of the events are the same, folks you wouldn’t notice out of place in your local grocery. But in the privacy of a meeting room, people are slightly more likely to wear more fetish gear. Nothing truly naughty, but maybe a corset, or a collar. Leather vests are certain to be found, and many may be mistaken for bikers.

    A club also is likely to have business meetings before or after the presentation (generally before), and often have a play party afterwards in a nearby hotel, home, or dungeon. Vendors may also be present, often local craftsmen and women who make wonderful little toys to abuse your partner with.

    So, what about your local club? Tell me about it, in the comments.






    Organizational Resources

    27 03 2009

    I am taking a page from Master and passing along some of the resources I use to help.

    Part of my service to Sir is as an administrative assistant so to speak.  I schedule appointments on his calendar, set up reminder notices for these appointments.  Look up information on various topics and sometimes type up my findings.   I create spreadsheets for his budget and I created a presentation on how to set up a bar.

    Two of the resources I have been using have been really helpful to me.

    One of them is google calendar.  I really like using this feature on google as you can have multiple calendars.  I currently have a calendars set up for the kids, for Master, for Master when he travels, and for me.  I can see daily when I there is something anyone has to do and what time I need to be there.  One of  features that I really enjoy about google calendar is that it can send you a reminder to either your phone (via text) or your email.  You can have the notice remind you minutes to hours in advance of your appointment.   You can also tell it how many time to send you a reminder.  You can have the reminder not only go to you but to others as well.  So if I create an appointment for Master the reminder notice will go to me and to him.

    Another resource that I am coming to really like is Remember the Milk .  I have found that this program is a great addition to using Google calender.  Remember the Milk is a program that allows you to add daily tasks for yourself.  Master asks me to add items for him to follow up on that the calendar would not be useful for.  This program also sends reminders to your whatever service you specify.  You can specify the date and time for your task reminders here as well.

    Something else Master and i put together very early on that I have found very useful as an organizational tool is something called the Butler’s Book.  I’ll see if I can find a link to show.  This book is very indepth.  It has in it Masters clothes, food preferences, drink preferences, allergies, health information, travel information, toiletry preferences, music interests, bdsm interests, etc.  I thoroughly recommend this to starting M/s and D/s couples.  Keeps all useful information handy.








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