BlackBEAT 2012

16 05 2012

Well folks, it is getting close to that time again. Time for my favorite convention. BlackBEAT 2012 is coming this August (16-19). I will be there again this year as the Director of Security (mainly that involves a bunch or running around with my iPad and saying “Can I see your badge?”). This year is the 10th anniversary of the conference, so it should be extra special.

It is an amazing event that I cannot say enough about. I recommend that you check it out.

And don’t forget to say “Howdy” if you see me!

MV


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Master Black Zeus’ Conference

9 05 2012
King of the Gods, Zeus, at the Getty Villa. Ro...

King of the Gods, Zeus, at the Getty Villa. Roman, Italy, A.D. 1 – 100. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t mentioned this in a while, but Master Black Zeus runs a twice weekly conference, on  Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is usually very informative. A great (and gentle) introduction into aspect of the lifestyle. It is open to all.  I think you would enjoy it, and I do enjoy attending myself.  Thursday this week, the topic is on “Manners, Etiquette, and Tradition.” It is online and easy to set up. If you have a few moments tomorrow night, I would go.  You can find out more here.

 

MV


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Earned Leather…

4 05 2012

I’m a slow learner, slow talker, and slow thinker.  I have to take time to contemplate things to really understand them.

For some reason I have been contemplating  someone’s questioning on whether they should keep the leather they earned.  Sitting here writing about a completely different lesson about my personal journey the below just became clear to me.

Leather is personal.  It can be earned through a set of instructions given to you by someone but it is what you put into those lessons that make it earned.  Completing the instructions are secondary to your personal journey.  It is like the sensei talking to the pupil, try and grab the grasshopper from my hand.  The goal was not to grab the grasshopper but I imagine it was for the pupil to learn why he wanted the grasshopper, what would he gain by completing that task, what will happen after he completed the task, how completing that task will change, affect, grow their life, etc.  It is the process of earning leather not the destination.   It is yours, earned through your lessons learned and no one can take that from you.


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Topping from the Bottom: What Does It Mean?

18 04 2012

My slave wrote about this a while back. But I have been reading others posts on FetLife, and I realized a lot of people are misinformed about what “Topping from the bottom” really is. I have seen far too many tops try to manipulate their partners by telling them inappropriately that they were trying to take control from the dominant by expressing themselves.  Frankly, that isn’t exactly what this means.

A dominant should not do this. Topping from the bottom can be a serious issue. But for some people, it is how their relationship is structured. Topping from the bottom is when the bottom directs how the scene or relationship goes. In a more traditional BDSM relationship (if there is such a thing), the dominant is in the one providing direction and control of the subs activities. In this situation a sub is “topping from the bottom” when they try to manipulate a dominant’s feeling to provide what that want. That is the issue here. Manipulation. typically we call this passive aggressive behavior. That is what makes it wrong.

A sub is well within their rights to let the dominant know what they need.  What they require in the relationship. A dominant needs to listen to this. They need to hear what the sub is saying.  And that isn’t topping from the bottom.

But sometimes Dominants try to manipulate their submissives too. This is equally bad. Subs, don’t fall for this trap. Doms, don’t pull it.

MV


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Korean Tea Ceremony

19 02 2012

MV


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Categories : BDSM, Protocol, Techniques, Videos

Let’s Talk About Sex (and BDSM)

3 12 2011

I’m seeing something today that I find interesting. More and more I am seeing new people into the scene looking for sex. Pain and Sex. Control and Sex. Spankings and Sex. Bondage and Sex. Very different from the world I came of age in.

When I started out, I was directed to improve myself. Learn control. Learn how to manipulate the flash of my partner. Bring agony and ecstasy to my partner. Sex would come to eventually, with the right person.And it would be great. Don’t limit your options by only playing with those you would fuck. Instead sample a wide variety. Try different skills. Learn. Grow. Be a better Dominant for your submissive, but play with those that were available so you can be better.

I think it is what made me a good Master for my esclave. We have sex, but our relationship is not based on sex. Sex is good, but Control is better. She knows her place. I know mine. We are both happier this way. And sex is better this way.

But there were a whole lot of people before her that I played with that allowed me to be who I am with her.And I appreciate them for the opportunity for growth they allowed me.

Some couldn’t imagine doing what they do without a sexual relationship. I can respect this, but I think they are missing out on a while lot Opportunities to learn and grow. How can you know if your partner will like something if you don’t take the time to become good at it? The first time may be so bad they never want to do it again, while a more experienced player can tell you what you are doing well.

Look at the acronym BDSM. Originally this meant Bondage and Discipline plus Sadism and Masochism. Later, Domination and Submission was added to round out the group. Bondage is tying someone up.Discipline means control and pain. Sadism is about inflicting pain, Masochism means receiving pain. Domination and Submission are about taking and giving up control.

Where is the Sex in that list? It isn’t there. And I think there is a reason for that.

Let me know what you think, in the comments.

MV


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